“Jane! Where is my bouquet? I want to use it for the centerpiece!” exclaims April twisting as fast as she can in her form fitting wedding dress across the fellowship hall.
Just behind and trying to make every effort to catch up with April, Jane yells more loudly than she would like to “I’ve got it! It’s right here!” touching April on the arm while running up next to her.
“Oh thank you! I didn’t remember where I placed it . . . now on to my Elton. Where is my honey? Oh there he is talking to Ms. Bates. He’ll be there forever . . .” April quickly leaves Jane to stand on her own as she rushes to rescue Elton who actually seems to be enjoying the conversation with Ms. Bates.
“Have you recovered?” asks Grant putting his arm around Jane’s waist with a slight hug.
“Yes, I think so. I’m so glad that it is nearly over even though I liked being the maid of honor” sincerely sighs Jane “I think that I am now ready for a vacation though . . .”
“There will be plenty of time to relax on a beach in just a few weeks. I think our friends will be surprised but I understand not wanting to interupt April’s parade even though I think you deserve every attention that may come your way” states Grant kissing her on the cheek as he leads her to the bridal party table.
Emma tasting some of the pinwheels watching Jane and Grant from across the room, “How did I miss that? I’m with them all the time. I didn’t even know Jane liked him. How does that happen?”
Jennings also munching on some snacks with Emma “I don’t know about you, but I’ve known about them for a long time. It was so obvious. When either of them is in a room, they constantly keep their eyes on the whereabouts of the other. Sunday school class has been very entertaining for the last few weeks” then looking directly at her in a tone of astonishment “Where have you been Emma?”
“Really, I didn’t know anything about Grant being interested in Jane. I thought he liked Harriet” disbelievingly replies Emma.
“Harriet? What made you think of her? She likes Robert. She’s constantly talking about him. If anything, I thought Grant was flirting with you for awhile” surprised states Jennings “Out of all people, I’m surprised you weren’t the first one to notice. It’s been going on for months. According to Ms. Bates they were dating and quite serious. But something happened between them and she needed to take a break. I think it had something or other to do with his flirting which Jane didn’t like much. This is why Jane came to stay with Ms. Bates and her mother. But evidently Grant missed Jane and followed her here” twinkling with delight Jennings adds “There’s a reliable rumor that a special announcement might be made very soon!”
“I’m so happy for them. I’m still in shock that they are together, but really I think they will be very compatible and happy couple.” Emma genuinely feels pleased that her friends have found each other even if it is without her help or assistance.
“Emma, I’d like to say something to you if you don’t mind” and then adds not waiting for an reply “You need to quit worrying about everybody else’s love life and find someone of your own to settle down with. Love will find you, but you need to be ready to recognize it” advises Jennings “If you are too busy trying to chase cupid for everyone else, his aim might miss you”.
“I suppose you’re right” Emma agrees but seems somewhat disappointed in her tone as she notices Knightly pulling out Harriet’s chair at the banquet table before Harriet takes her assigned place “But I think cupid’s aim is going to have to hit someone else as well”.
Jennings chuckles “Don’t worry about it Emma. It will all work out at the right time. God has a way of making these things happen.”
“I suppose so” sighs Emma “I think that I need to find my place before the toasts begin. It’s good talking with you tonight”.
Robert takes his place next to Harriet and places a glass of punch in front of her. The place isn’t assigned to him but he switched the place cards before April could notice. He figures that April will get over it if she notices at all. He is taking the opportunity to seize a moment with Harriet that seems to be lacking lately.
“Harriet, do you mind if I sit next to you?” offers Robert while sitting down and not waiting for a response “How have you been doing lately?”
“Sure! I’ve been good. How are you doing? I’m so glad to see you. I was hoping that we would have a chance to talk tonight” blushes Harriet feeling more excited to talk and be near Robert than she expected “You sounded wonderful on the guitar. It was beautiful.”
“Thanks! I was hoping that you would like it. I’ve been practicing for awhile and added a little of my own style to the music” remarks Robert very pleased and complimented that Harriet notices his efforts.
“I always enjoy hearing you play. Some people can play well because they have taught themselves to, but you play from your heart which makes the music come to life and has a presence all of its own not just in the notes” honestly replies Harriet.
Robert isn’t sure how to respond to this compliment except to say “Thank you” even though the words do not seem enough.
“Have you written any more poetry lately?” asks Harriet remembering his get well card to her.
Robert’s eyes widen and he blushes. The truth is that he has written nearly a book of poetry just for her, but he isn’t about to tell her at this moment. He hears himself reply “some”.
“Well, I’d love for you to share ‘some’ of it with me when you have a chance. Do you ever write songs on your guitar? Do you write lyrics to them?” asks Harriet thinking that poetry and lyrics are often similar to each other.
As Robert takes a sip of his punch his cheeks deepen in their crimson hue. He wonders if Harriet can read his mind. “Yes . . . I write some music sometimes” knowing that he just wrote a song last week called “Ode to Harriet” which he will probably never tell her about when he was feeling a bit rejected because she wasn’t calling him anymore.
“You will definitely have to show me some of your songs. I’m sure they are wonderful! I’d like you to sing them to me if you wouldn’t mind. You have a great voice too and I can also hear how they are supposed to sound” instructs Harriet “Maybe you can come over to Alice Hammer’s house tomorrow and bring your guitar with you. Are you free in the afternoon, say around four? If you would like to, you can stay for dinner too.”
“That would be great!” Robert flushes at being invited to spend time with Harriet “I don’t have to work tomorrow so being there at four is no problem”.
“Well, if that’s the case, why don’t you come over earlier in the day. I don’t have to work tomorrow either” Harriet replies “Just let me know.”
“How does eleven sound then? There is a music festival that I think that you might like downtown” asks Robert slightly anxious but hopeful.
“Sounds good, but if you want to Alice picks up fresh kolaches for breakfast on Saturdays. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind adding a few extra from the bakery if you would like to come over before then” offers Harriet.
Robert is more than pleased at Harriet’s enthusiasm of wanting to spend more time with him. “As long as you don’t think she’ll mind, I’ll be there. I’ll bring the coffee from Starbucks”. Harriet giggles and nods her head at his offer.
Emma watches as Elton and April begin to dance the first dance together, “A long and lasting love”. As she observes them, Emma’s cheek sulks a little more deeply into her hand. Lt. Fitzwilliam and Captain Wentworth have already left for the airport due to their obligatory responsibilities for the upcoming week-end so she has been left abandoned at that end of the table. Elton and April appear to be very happy together.
Listening to the reception music, Emma is lost in her thoughts. The large floral centerpiece blocks her view of the other end of the table so she turns her back to face the opposite direction. If there was a possibility of catching a glimpse of the other side, Emma really doesn’t want to watch Knightly and Harriet spending the evening talking together.
However throughout the evening Emma doesn’t notice that Harriet and Robert are not talking at all. Her thoughts wander to Knightly whom she can’t see either who actually has spent most of the evening chatting with Jennings, Mrs. Dashing, and Alice Hammer who have taken turns sitting beside him to tell of their latest vacation adventures together.
As the evening continues Emma spends some time checking her text messages and playing Sudoku on her phone. She doesn’t feel like participating much tonight. Harriet isn’t talking to her and Jane seems to be spending all of her time with Grant. Jane and Grant have danced nearly every song together and seem oblivious to everyone else in the room.
“Calling all single ladies! It’s time to throw my bouquet!” shouts April in a very loud obnoxious voice “Let’s see who is going to be the next bride!” then adding not so quietly “I’m sure the wedding won’t be as lovely as mine, but at least you will be the bride!”
Hunching her shoulders, Emma sighs and rolls her eyes. The last thing that she wants at this moment is for her single status to be pointed out.
Excitedly Jennings walks over to the bridal table where Emma has spent the evening and grabs Emma’s wrist. “Come on, Emma! You’re my competition! Let’s go!” as she drags Emma out to the middle of the fellowship hall.
On the count of three April tosses a replica of her beautiful bouquet into the air. Alice and Mrs. Dashing raise their arms in the air to possibly catch the promise of future attachment with Jennings, Harriet, and Jane actually making an attempt to catch it. Emma stands with her arms folded in front of her slightly annoyed at this cultural tradition at weddings particularly at this time. The bouquet aims directly for her and she subconsciously catches it just in time before it lands on the floor.
Reaching up from bending over, Emma looks up to find Harriet giving her a disgusted look with Jane seeming disappointed standing next to her. Jennings snaps her fingers swinging her arm in front of her and sighing to herself “Better luck next time. Maybe one day I’ll be a bride again!”
“Would you like it?” asks Emma offering the bouquet to Jennings not sure that she wants to be reminded that there is no one in her life to share the potential meaning of the bouquet with at the moment.
“No dear but thank you. That bouquet has been given to you. My ‘beau’-kay will come some day” giggles Jennings at her own joke doing a little jig back to her assigned table where Mrs. Dashing and Alice Hammer are sitting with Mr. Woodhouse.
As the evening passes, everyone heads for their own home. After changing back into jeans that she brought with her, Emma helps to fold the tablecloths and to sweep the floor. There is only a handful that planned to stay to help clean up. Emma intentionally hasn’t watched Knightly most of the evening not wanting to be hurt any more than necessary if he is really interested in Harriet.
Emma feels such a pain in her heart that it finds it difficult to breathe. Emma thinks Harriet is a wonderful person and Knightly would be really happy with her. Not wanting them to be together would be selfish and not be fair to either one of them.
Both of them deserve as much happiness in life that is available to them even if it means that she will be much lonelier without Knightly than she ever wanted or thought she would be. It is not that she expected Knightly to be with her but she never thought about him being or wanting to be with anyone else but her.
As Emma clears and cleans, her thoughts collide and crash against each other
“We fit so well together. We have so much in common. We think alike. We like the same things. We like doing the same things. We understand each other. We know each other both so well and have such a good time together. It is like we were meant for each other. Why does he want to be with someone else now? Can’t Knightly see that she is the one that fits best with him?” A feeling of sadness and loss overcomes her. “It is really too much”.
Finishing sweeping the floor, Emma finds her purse and heads towards the exit doors in the lobby. Knightly steps out of the chapel, “Emma, I’m glad I caught you before you left”.
“What are you doing in the chapel?” curiously asks Emma trying to find something to say besides what she has been thinking about him.
“I’ve been spending some time alone and it seems like a good place to be to find some answers” honestly replies Knightly.
“Oh. I didn’t mean to disturb you, I was just on my way home” replies Emma not sure what else to say “Where’s Harriet?”
“Harriet left a long time ago” answers Knightly not having a clue why she would be asking him about Harriet’s whereabouts. Robert and her seemed quite happy leaving together earlier in the evening. He thinks that they were headed to a movie but not sure. “I think just about everyone has left. I was waiting for you because I wanted to talk to you.”
Fearing that he wants to discuss his relationship with Harriet with her, Emma responds “I’m not sure that right now is a good time. I’m really tired tonight and not really in a good mood to talk. Some other time might be better.”
“I was hoping that after everyone left there might be a chance for just the two of us to catch up” suggests Knightly but sensing her reluctance “it’s really important. I need to find out some things from you before I make some decisions”.
“Really, I’m not sure that I’m the one you should be talking to especially if it has anything to do with decisions concerning your life” honestly replies Emma knowing that it would be more wise to discuss them with Harriet if they will concern her future. “I really don’t think you want to talk to me.”
Knightly feels concerned for a moment but then observes her. Emma’s eyes are becoming watery and she seems like she is in pain “Are you all right?”
Emma clears her throat and pauses before speaking hoping that her voice will not betray her. Her voice shakes “I’m fine. I’m just feeling a little stressed out this evening. I’ll be fine tomorrow”.
“Tell you what, how about we meet for breakfast tomorrow at our favorite diner” suggests Knightly “I really want to talk with you about the future”.
Emma feels her heart breaking right in front of him at this last statement. Sensing that he really is sincere in his desire to share something with her, somewhere in the depths of her love for him even if it means rejection agrees to meet with him “I’ll see you tomorrow. You can pick me up at ten for brunch. How does that sound?”
“I’ll see you then” smiles Knightly feeling as if a great burden is being lifted from his shoulders. Knightly walks with Emma to her car. Most days, Emma would appreciate this but today fighting back tears is barely more than she can endure. He opens Emma’s car door as she puts her things away and closes it behind her. Knightly whistles his favorite song as he heads to his own car across the parking lot excited for the coming new day.
The next morning, Emma stretches and looks at her clock. “Eight is too early! I don’t even think that I can pry my eyes open. I hate crying all night. I wish that I could skip today. Couldn’t there just be a button that would repeat good moments in life and skip over the ones that are just too much!”
Emma takes a shower and finds an attractive outfit to wear from her closet “Even if he isn’t interested in me, I don’t have to look like death-warmed-over either just to prove his point. He needs to talk. He’s asked to talk to me. I’ll just keep the suffering to myself. He doesn’t need to know how I feel”.
The doorbell rings and Emma walks slowly down the stairs. With tremendous anxiety, Emma feels as if she is walking into an employer’s office to be fired. This isn’t her day but at least a day only lasts twenty-four hours -- now just fourteen more to go . . .
“Hey Emma! Good morning! How are you today?” sweetly asks Knightly more cheerful and handsome than ever.
“Life can be so cruel sometimes” thinks Emma to herself scowling at Knightly’s voice as he stands in front of her.
“Are you feeling better today?” concerned inquires Knightly a little confused by Emma’s reception of his greeting “Did you have a good night’s rest?”
“Actually, I didn’t sleep that well but thanks for asking” replies Emma not sure how to say ‘I cried all night over you and you don’t even care’.
“Ready to go?” asks Knightly wanting to share what is practically bursting from him from rehearsing it so much to himself in hopes that Emma will like what he has to say. By habit, Knightly grabs Emma’s jacket out of the front closet and helps her put it on.
“Thanks” replies Emma thinking how much she will miss Knightly’s kindness and manners as he begins to spend more time with Harriet instead of her.
“It’s always a pleasure” replies Knightly smiling at her while holding the door open and placing a gentle hand on her back as Emma walks in front of him out to his car.
As they sit together in the car, Emma reaches for the radio and turns it on in an attempt to delay the discussion as long as possible. Knightly looks slightly perturbed but then smiles again at her when he hears Emma’s favorite song playing on the station.
A waitress leads them to a quiet booth in the corner. “What would you like to drink?” she asks taping a pencil on her small paper tablet.
“Water would be fine with me. Emma, what would you like?” asks Knightly to Emma who seems overly absorbed in her menu and unaware of what is happening around her.
“What? Oh. I’d like an orange juice, please. Thanks” states Emma trying to find a smile to give to the waitress feeling being more crushed by the second.
After a deep sigh Knightly begins “Emma as you know, I really wanted to talk with you last night. Some new opportunities are coming my way and I want to discuss them with you.”
“Really? Are you sure you want to discuss them with me?” sincerely asks Emma not particularly liking this privileged position at this moment.
“Who else would I discuss them with? I want to talk them over with you” replies Knightly and then adding “because it concerns both of us.”
For the first time Emma looks up and meets his gaze “Okay, tell me what is happening that is so important. I’m listening.”
“I don’t know if you are aware but there is an opening at territorial headquarters that I’ve been offered. It is a promotion with better pay but it means that I would be moving. There are many reasons why this would be a good thing for me to do” starts Knightly.
“Wow, I had no idea. If you took the job, how soon would you be leaving?” asks Emma not expecting this to be the subject of his conversation.
“Well, that answer is a little more complicated. There are some reasons that I want to stay in the area but only if I know that this is where there is some hope for some other areas of my future in regards to my personal life.”
“Here is comes . . .” murmurs Emma to herself but then adds more clearly and loudly “What are you talking about?”
“Emma sometimes you can be so sharp about some things but then totally miss the point at other times” remarks Knightly not sure entirely how to proceed “I’m not sure if we are on the same page and I want to find out what your feelings are”
“Shouldn’t you be asking Harriet?” asks Emma feeling that there is not much more that she can take.
“What about Harriet? What does Harriet have to do with anything?” asks Knightly feeling that the comment is coming from another planet and not the one he is on.
“Aren’t you talking about you and Harriet?” intensely asks Emma feeling that his sarcasm is a bit cruel at this point in the discussion.
“Listen, Emma. Maybe I should start over. There seems to be some disconnect between us. I’ve been offered a job at THQ that will require me to move. I’m asking you if you want me to stay here” frankly states Knightly wondering if Emma is not well.
“You’re asking me if you should stay?” confused asks Emma afraid to connect she is the reason Knightly is discussing his future with her.
“Yes. Do you see ‘us’ together in the future? Or, do you just see you and I remaining friends?” asks Knightly not sure how much more clear and direct he can be but feeling the pressure that he needs an answer from her before responding to THQ on Monday.
“I…I would like for you . . .” starts Emma as tear falls and she quickly wipes it away “I would like for you to stay here or go there whichever you would like to do, but I would like to be with you wherever you decide to be”.
“That’s what I needed to know!” excited states Knightly relieved at Emma’s directness as well impulsively taking both of her hands in his across the table.
“The only question that I have is what about my dad? He can’t live on his own and living in a senior care facility isn’t on his agenda of choice” replies Emma suddenly concerned about what would happen to her dad if they were to move.
“Emma, if it means having you with me then your dad can live with us as well” replies Knightly “Your dad is practically family to me too”.
“I’m not sure he would want to move but he has requested some brochures lately from the Silver Crest residence which is a home for seniors which seems like a place he might enjoy being. He’s mentioned liking the idea of having friends and other people to do things with rather than just me most of the time” contemplates Emma “Some of his friends already live there too.”
Looking at Emma for a moment feeling how much he loves her, Knightly softly says “Emma, I think that we have made a decision without me asking you a question. This isn’t exactly like I planned it.”
Emma intently looks at him feeling that she doesn’t want another world to exist without him in the very center of it. “That’s okay. I think that I understand anyway and you probably already know my answer”.
Bending down on one knee in their favorite diner and pulling a ring out from his pocket, Knightly asks “Emma, I love you. Will you be willing to spend the rest of your life with me?”
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