Happy Easter! -- Steps

As the smooth coffee colored sandals shuffle across the cool beige and gray block stones, her heart is heavy.  The days have been so long lately.  There have been many hard and difficult days in her life but nothing like she has experienced before like this one.   Even the leaves on the olive trees lining the walkway seem to mourn in the wind for what they are asked to carry.  Yes, it has been a long night . . .

 

She makes her familiar way along the city streets that are so quiet this morning.  Eyes heavy that are difficult to focus from the lack of sleep and from the many tears of crying, she longs to be with someone she knows, a well-known friend with whom she can “be” and not have to speak to explain herself. 

 

Minutes feel more like slow passing hours. She passes the bakery where the bread is starting to rise and the aroma fills and consumes the air that she breathes.  Passover is finished.  It ended when three stars rose in the sky last night.  The market shops will be opening soon and the hurry and bustle of life will begin as it always does, but it will never feel the same for her.   

 

He has been her friend -- her companion -- her comforter -- her life. Thoughts leap and flash through her mind of all the time they spent together eating, laughing, sharing, learning and being.  Knowing and connected to everything that he said he was.  Why did he have to leave her? 

 

People can be so cruel and make so many harsh decisions based on fear that they will be looked over or forgotten.  Yet, he never overlooked anyone.  His hand was held, his robed touched, and still his heart moved. There will never again be anyone like him.

 

The archways of the alley streets seem to mockingly wind and bend this early morning as she heads to the home of the mother of her well-known friend.  Every step seems to ache because of its created intended slope.  She quietly knocks at the well-worn carved wooden door to the small dark and gray basalt rock home. It is quiet.  The knock echoes down the street through the homes lined in their season one after the other.

 

Slowly the door creeks and opens, her friend’s mother takes her hand and she offers a comforting hug.   Gently placing her arm around her friend’s shoulder, they start to walk together towards one of his favorite places.

 

It has so quickly got around town especially since Joseph is of such noble rank that he is a member of the Jewish High Council. It is such a peculiar thing . . .  He sits among the group that cast the death sentence on her friend but Joseph was willing to disagree with and not participate in the actions of the High Council.  Everyone in town knows him well.  Joseph’s hometown is the village of Aramethia.  He is a wealthy wine industrialist although is known to be a man of good heart and impeccable character.  Resolved, Joseph even had the nerve to go to the governor, Pilate, and request for the body.   It was such a generous gift to offer his own place of eternal rest to someone that was so hated and despised by his peers.

 

The Vineyards belong to Joseph and are cut into the rock quarry of Mt. Moriah.  This is the same mountain where the first Temple was built by Solomon. As she learned in many stories as a child, Abraham first offered his promised son Isaac on this mountain, but God provided another sacrifice.

 

The solemn tomb is located to the side in the beautiful garden setting.  Many gray stone olive presses, well-worn shaded trees, an array of colorful flowers, and vineyards protectively surround where he has been placed.   It is such a lovely, picturesque, aesthetic location and dwelling.

 

Joseph, although such a man of high status and wealth, took him down from the cross at Golgotha – the place of the skull - in front of everyone along the busy traveler’s road to Jerusalem for Sabbath.  The eleven best and closest friends that her friend had left were long gone and scattered throughout the city and in hiding.  He risked his reputation for kindness to someone he didn’t even know that well.  Joseph gently wrapped him in new white linen cloth as a mother would have her own child. His act of mercy was while everyone else, easily forgetting the events of the day, were quickly heading back to their homes, buying flowers, ending errands, and finishing preparing the supper as Sabbath was about to begin.

 

She stood at a distance and watched Joseph and admired his capacity for empathy and compassion.  Keeping vigil of each event and trial of her beloved friend was almost more than she could bare but of which nothing she could have done to prevent. As Joseph carried and placed her protected guardian’s body in the tomb, she had openly grieved in her wailing and sobbing.  It had been such a long night . . .

 

As her friend’s mother unlocked and fearfully opened the gate to the garden spring, she stands still while reflecting for a moment.  At one time, he had opened a door for her that she thought would have been closed forever -- a door to life and hope.   She had been betrayed, used, and abandoned many times.  It was a recurrent theme in her relationships.  Life had been ripped from her, and she was now bruised and scarred. She had experienced very little tenderness in her few years of living. Life had been cruel, humiliating, and painful.  When she met him, she had very few friends even though she had grown up in the village of Magdala near the costal region of Lake Genneserett, or the Sea of Galilee as it is also commonly known.  Afraid that a little compassion or understanding would sully their public reputations, people had shunned her amongst their friends.  But - he was different.  He cared.  Over time, she would grow to deeply love him and know that he loved her too.

 

Her friend’s mother said that she was tired and would like to rest.  She found a molded rock that would provide some comfort underneath the shade of the wide curvy branched olive trees that had recently bloomed in their magnificence. As she looked down and walked along the flower and rock-lined path, she saw rows of teal wormwood, ivory alyssums, rose myrtle and pearl lilies symbolizing torment, love, majesty, and worth beyond beauty. The garden brings to life her own true feelings.

 

Keeping her eyes focused on the ground to contemplate her great loss, she arrives at the tomb and surrendering to the grief, falls to her knees as she weeps. Her eyes are sore and swollen from her tears, but she thinks that she must see him just one more time even if it only means in death.  

 

Light is dawning in fuchsia, turquoise, crimson, violet, and amber hues on the crescent of the hill of Golgotha just above where the tomb is located. As shadows of dawn are cast over her face, she notices the large round smooth-solid stone that is meant to protect the body from theft has been rolled away to the side.  She slowly rises and pears into the right side window of the tomb as tears fall freely without force or will down her tear-stained cheeks. 

 

What is this?  What is this light? The bright white light is cascading all around her.  The mother of her friend has climbed the hill.  The light is jointly enveloping them.  Who are these two men? Why are they there? Why are they wearing robes of white?  Why is one sitting where the head of her friend should be?  Why is the other sitting where his feet should be resting? Where have they taken her precious teacher and friend?

 

Other women now have joined the mother of her friend; they are bowing down in worship, awestruck by what they are seeing. 

 

Then, the one-in-light speaks to her, “Woman, why do you weep?”  She can’t respond right a way.  How could they not know?  Everyone knows.  But she hears herself explain, “They took my master and I don’t know where they have placed him.” 

 

The one-in-light speaks to her again, “Why are you looking for the Living One in a cemetery?”  Although she is confused he continues speaking to her, “He is not here.  He has been raised up.  Remember how He told you when you were still back in Galilee that He had to be handed over to sinners.  Then he would be killed on a cross.  In three days He would rise up again.”

 

It was at that moment, her thoughts remember the voice of her friend speaking these same words to her.  Thinking to herself that she desires to be in the moment of her sorrow, she turns her head away to reflect on what this man-in-light has told her. 

 

While looking down, another man stands in front of her blocking her way.  This is all too overwhelming!  She needs to find who has taken her friend and this still silent Gardner is preventing her from letting his other friends know what has happened.  But perhaps this Gardner saw something and knows what has happened to the body of her friend.  Again she speaks pleadingly through her tears, “Mister, if you took him, let me where you put him so I can care for him!”

 

Then in an oh-so-familiar comforting, well-known and loved voice speaks her name, “Mary.”  How many times has she heard Him speak her name before - the tone, the lilt, the energy – such a wonderful gift that has greeted her at her door so many times in the past.  It’s Him!  Using the intimate conversational word for Great Master-teacher, she excitedly exclaims “Rabboni!”

 

But He says to her, “Don’t cling to me.  I have not yet ascended to the Father.  Go to my brothers and tell them, “I ascend to my Father and your Father, my God and Your God.”

 

Letting go and with every source of energy available as her friends of women join along behind her, she quickly runs down the stone patterned path to Peter’s home to tell him and his other friends who have congregated there after a long night.  She can hardly contain her enthusiasm to tell them whom she has just talked to and seen again. As she rushes through the opened door embracing her friends, she shouts with joy, “Morning has come!  Jesus is Alive!”

Blood and Fire - Chapter Forty Three

 “Where is Jane?” impatiently asks Mary carrying her trombone case with red folder of music to practice at some later date “She left before we even finished that piece and I haven’t seen her since.”

“She’s fine” confirms Liz as if keeping a sweet secret “I think she has her own ride home this afternoon.”

“I want to get back home.  They are doing an all day series on the tribes of West Kenya that I do not want to miss on the National Geographic channel” explains Mary “I’d like to use the information to share with my Sunday School class about World Services this week.”

“I’m sure that you’ll be back in time for it” assures Liz curiously looking around to see if she can find Darcy anywhere to thank him for everything in helping her younger sister “I’m going into the Fellowship Hall for the box lunches.  Are you coming with me?”

“Yes, I suppose so.  I’ll be there in a minute, save a place for me.  I want to help Emma Knightly sort through the music since she is the librarian for the band.  I have offered to be her assistant but I have yet to be given the local officer commission yet” explains Mary rather proud of her rather eccentric organizational skills “I have a better file system which I think we will be more appropriately beneficial to everyone.”

“What are you thinking?” cautiously curious asks Liz hoping that at the next rehearsal she will be able to locate all of her music.

“Well, as you know composers have their own style of music.  I thought that I would organize it by the style of the generation of which it sounds like.  I’ve come up with the following categories so far. For instance, swing pieces would be grouped together, patriotic anthems, gospel hymns, marches for United Meetings, reflective pieces, unusual tunes, and ‘other’ for anything I can’t explain or do not like.”

“Why would you put pieces that you do not like in the ‘other’ category?” asks Liz a little concerned about the response.

“It’s obvious isn’t it?  If I don’t like it or if it is too difficult for me to play then it will make it harder for Captain Brandon to find” thoughtfully explains Mary proud of her ingenuity.

“Don’t you think he will catch on soon?  How are you putting together the directory for the other pieces?” skeptically asks Liz envisioning a future rehearsal of utter chaos as members try to find the identical piece to play in their folders using the new system.

“How else? I will sort it by the publishing date.  Numbers are much easier to remember than words any day” frankly states Mary “Like most people for example,  I have a difficult time remembering  the correct title to a book or the author, but ask me what year some event happened, and I know right away. I think this same theory should work well with the band music too.”

“Good luck with that” sarcastically offers Liz hoping to give Emma a heads up about this new proposal during the break time so that Mary can be deferred to a different harmonious volunteer project for the band.

Entering the Fellowship Hall, Liz looks around and observes Darcy sitting across the room talking with her dad.  She’s excited that they seem pleasantly animated during the conversation.  Her mother is in the kitchen helping to serve the dessert.

As she starts to walk towards the table that is now being joined by other family members, Major Debourgh steps rather firmly in front of her and blocks her way. 

“Ms. Bennett, I would like to speak to you privately” commands Major Debourgh in a tone that is adamant that it will be obeyed.

“Uh … okay.  Would it be already if we talked after lunch?  I didn’t have breakfast this morning” explains Liz looking for an excuse to avoid any type of confrontation which appears will be taking place soon for some unknown reason “Is everything all right with my friends?”

“Yes, of course it is.  Collins is fine and his wife manages herself well.  I want to speak to you about your behavior” smugly informs Major Debourgh “Everyone has noticed you flaunting yourself and Darcy.  This needs to stop immediately.”

“I’m not throwing myself at anyone.  How can you say that?” confused asks Liz but with a tone of anger as the accusation sets in “I don’t know what you are talking about.  I haven’t even spoken to Darcy for over a month.”

“He’s here and so are you” confirms Major Debourgh as if being in the same building is proof of guilt.

“Yes, he is and so am I” nonchalantly agrees Liz not liking that they are standing in the middle of the Fellowship Hall for others ears to take notice “A lot of people are here today for music rehearsals from all over the division.”

“But he came to see you!” informs Major Debourgh raising her voice “I saw the way he was looking at you during the rehearsal.  There is a secret between the two of you and you need to put an end to it.”

“If anything existed like that, why would I stop being around him because you didn’t like it?” defiantly states Liz more than a little confused why this conversation is taking place in the first place “What does it matter to you if I talk to him or not?”

“It matters to my daughter, Anne.  She has been in love with him for years.  All her friends know that she has liked him and you are making a fool of her” angrily explains Major Debourgh “She has a right to be with him.  She knew him first.  You just came along and flirted with him.  You messed up his mind.  They should be together.”

“Frankly, I think he is a man and old enough to make up his own mind who he chooses to share his life with.  Whether it is me or anyone else, it is his choice and shouldn’t depend on who ‘knew him first’” frustrated states Liz not sure why this argument is occurring “I’ve heard my middle school teens in Girl Guards have the same rational and you’re daughter is quite a bit older than that!  I think it is time for her to grow up and face reality. If he doesn’t want to be with her that is his prerogative and he shouldn’t be battered into being forced to be with someone which he has no affection for just because she knew him longest.”

“If you weren’t in the way, Anne would be with him right now!” adamantly demands Major Debourgh blocking her way as Liz attempts to move away from her to end the conversation but at this statement Liz looks her squarely in the eyes. “I’ve had plans for years that my daughter and Darcy would be married one day.  You are dashing my hopes of their future union.”

“If he loved you daughter, it wouldn’t matter if I were standing next to him or on the moon.  He would be with her.  He’s has had years to choose to be with Anne and has decided by his own will not to be” clearly states Liz as tears form in her eyes “That decision has nothing to do with me.  But it does have everything to do with your daughter and his perception of her that has been formed over the years by their acquaintance.”

“You didn’t help anything by flirting with him so much!” debates Major Debourgh “If you hadn’t thrown yourself at him, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“I didn’t throw myself at anyone.  If he wants to be with me, I’m happy to be with him.  I don’t even know if that is a possibility.  You are viciously accusing me of things that have not happened!” retorts Liz feeling that this personal defamation of her character is uncalled for considering the circumstances “I’m finished.  I don’t have anything else to say to you!”

“Will you promise not to pursue Darcy anymore?” firmly asks Major Debourgh “You really don’t deserve him.”

Her eyes filled with tears steam as Liz vehemently begins to speak “Deserve someone?  How does someone actually deserve anyone? Everyone has faults as well as those wonderful things that make them the unique individuals that they are.  If he loves me, he takes me as I am and I will love him the way he is -- just because I want to and because he wants to be with me --- mistakes and all!”

In response Major Debourgh with her hands on her hips glares at Liz as if a stand down at high noon in an old western town. Defiantly, Liz returns the constant stare and then moves to the side walking away from her nemesis.

As Liz considers the conversation, she wonders how much the idea of being Darcy’s wife was actually Anne’s idea or her mother’s since they have so little in common with each other.   They only share old memories of a friendship as children to, keep any connection with each other.  She suspects that Anne’s interest has been purposely encouraged by her mother because of her own personal motives of status and recognition. Liz glances over to Darcy across the room next to her father and wonders “I don’t even know that he likes me.  At least he is good to my family and hopefully will be able to keep him as a friend through all of this nonsense.”

Since the conversation lasted much longer than expected, no seats are left at her family’s table.  She finds a comfortable spot next to Ellen and Ted Ferris to share her meal.   In a moment, Jennings joins them “So how is everybody doing? Liz, you look a little worse for wear.”

“I’m okay.  It’s just been a long day” shares Liz taking a small bite of her club sandwich from a local deli  and feeling  a little discouraged as she notices Anne finding a seat that was recently abandoned by Kitty next to Darcy at his table “I probably won’t stay too much longer.”

Having observed and intentionally overhead some of the conversation Jennings wisely offers  “Liz, some moments are meant to give us a new outlook on life whether through events that can determine our joy, anger, disappointment, or hope.   Our response to situations can have the potential to build such things as character, integrity, values, and define us as individuals. In life most of the time you can’t change what happens to you, but you can choose to determine what it will make of you.”

After a moment of contemplating what Jennings told her, Liz slowly smiles back at her “I wish that I knew what to do with this moment.”

A few minutes later, Alice Hammer comes up talking to them munching on a piece of cake with a bit of bright blue frosting remaining on her lip, “This is the best cake ever!  I need to find the recipe and try it at home.”

“Liz, I didn’t mean to overhear, but unfortunately my ears are not deaf enough when I would like them to be and not clear enough when I need to understand something” apologizes Alice Hammer smacking her lips to finish off the icing “sitting in the corner in the second cornet row, I have a good view of the band and what happens. I just love musical romances.  Sometimes for fun I imagine myself as the heroine in my own story of lost love”.

In response Jennings interrupts and confirms to the rest of the group “Yes, I’ve heard some of these silly so-called love stories.  I particularly remember the last one, of an old retired corps sergeant major riding up in a disaster truck to rescue you and the rest of us from a chili cook-off at Home League camp. ”

Looking at her, Alice Hammer’s lips thin as her eyes narrow towards Jennings, “As I was saying, I noticed that Darcy was looking at you all during lunch and throughout the rehearsal.  I hope you don’t mind my sharing, but I think Major Debourgh might be somewhat off in her assumptions about her daughter.  In all the years that I’ve known Darcy, I don’t recall him ever giving the impression that they would be any more than friends.  You are not interrupting anything except perhaps a few false hopes or expectations.”

After the rehearsal, as Liz heads toward Maud in the parking lot, she hears familiar footsteps behind her walking along the gravel and smiles to herself at the memory.

“Liz, do you have a moment?” asks Darcy catching up with her as she reaches for her car door “I’ve been wanting to talk with you all day but every time something or someone was in the way”.

“I’ve been meaning to talk with you too.  I wanted to thank you for everything you did for Lydia.  It was so thoughtful and kind of you.  I don’t know how my family can ever repay you” sincerely offers Liz “You will always have a place in our family.”

“Well, although I’m glad that everything worked out well.  I didn’t do it for Lydia’s sake” swallowing and gathering courage Darcy continues “I hope you don’t mind, but I did what I did for you and myself”.

In return Liz looks directly at him to intuitively read his motive for saying what it appears that he is implying. “I don’t know what to say.  Your thoughtfulness was really unexpected but deeply appreciated.”

Finding a second wind of courage, Darcy replies “Liz, I know that we talked a long time ago and things didn’t end very well between us.  If you feel the same way as before, please stop me before I start again. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.  I’m glad that we are at least friends again.”

“I’m not stopping you.  If you must know, I felt the same way as you did before but unfortunately, I misunderstood what you were trying to say to me and then I was offended before I had a chance to really think through what was actually being said” nervously shares Liz shaking slightly at her confession “I thought you were telling me that you weren’t interested in me or at best making fun of me.”

“I wasn’t doing either one.  I was trying to let you know how much you meant to me but it didn’t come across like I expected it to” humbly explains Darcy “my intentions meant well by my execution proved to be somewhat lacking in explaining my true feelings.”

As Darcy leans closer to her and touches her arm, Liz looks at him again and recognizes their mutual feelings for each other. “When you left so quickly after hearing about Lydia and then I didn’t hear from you for quite awhile, I thought that you had changed your mind about me again.”

“I’ve never changed my mind.  I was just giving you some space as I helped your sister.  I wanted to give you answers rather than just hope” explains Darcy putting his arm around her “I’m here for you as long as you want me to be.”

“Hmmm … that’s a nice offer.  What if I didn’t give you a deadline?” anxiously teases Liz “I might like keeping you around for company.”

“Well, you’re definitely not losing me this time and I rather like the idea of finding myself next you for a very long time” flirts Darcy in return as he tenderly confirms his loving promise to her.

Blood and Fire - Chapter Forty Two

“Girls!  Time to go!” yells Mrs. Bennett up the stairs making a last minute hair adjustment in the hallway mirror,  “You don’t want to be late!”

“Is everyone in the crew accounted for?” asks Mr. Bennett searching for the handle on his Bb tuba case which he begins to trail behind him through the cluttered living room of practice sheets of music that the girls remembered to practice in a family ensemble last night even though they were given the music a month prior to that.

Smacking on a piece of gum, Kitty struggles to carry her notebook, trendy women’s magazines to share the samples with her friends, an opened purse which she forgot to close unevenly balancing above the books, and her baritone case.   “Dad, we don’t have to be there too early!  Everyone usually arrives about ten minutes after it starts anyway!”

Scratching his head, Mr. Bennett returns a flat smile since her words are honest but not helpful in his mission, “I think it would be nice for the entire Bennett family to arrive pronto and on time once a year.  It can be our annual tradition.”

Smirking Kitty tilts her head to the side looking up at him, “Dad, we’re not that bad…” then skeptically reconsidering for a moment their last few months of attendance at any Army function “well … almost.”

Swinging her trombone case side to side while attempting to multitask by reading a book while walking, Mary bumps into the recliner and then ungracefully glides out of the way.  She bumps into Kitty who turns around and pushes her back with the palm of her hand on Mary’s shoulder.

“Mary, I wish you would watch where you are going.  I’m standing right in front of you!” demands Kitty glaring at her sister.

“You didn’t have to stand in the walkway.  I thought you were headed out the door behind dad.  I can’t help it if you are in my way” explains Mary turning another page of her recently purchased thriller from the thrift store “This book is really good.  I’ll let you read it when I’m done.”

On the verge of being annoyed, Kitty looks at the title and the author of the book Mary is holding and then realizes it is about a blockbuster movie that is just coming out and changes her mind “Okay.  Do you think you’ll be finished tomorrow?  I’ve wanted to read the book.  Books are always better than the movies, even the best ones.  But just watch where you are walking next time.”

“Where’s mom now?” asks Mary looking up taking a temporary break in between chapters “Is she already outside in the van?”

“Here I am. I just found my timbrel!” squeals Mrs. Bennett giving a couple of shakes for proof “Someone hid it in the back of the closet and I almost didn’t find it!”

There is a quiet unanimous sigh amongst the others of the group.  Glancing around not to catch their mother’s eye, they all move uniformly towards the vehicle.

Finally Mary unable to hold her opinion for one minute longer speaks, “Mom, I think you need to let Captain Brandon pick the tempo.  He is the bandmaster and it is his choice.”

“Well, I thought that the song needed a little more spunk and spirit.  Didn’t you think so?  He needed to move it along.  I didn’t mean to cause any problem, I was just trying to help him get it together with a better beat” noticing that her family is remaining mum on the subject, Mrs. Bennett defends her un-rhythmic actions “I didn’t mean to stop the band last month during the United Meeting.  But he really did need to speed up some.”

In reflection Mr. Bennett responds, “Well honey, some of us are Klingons, and there are others of us who are Romulans, and a few actually make it to the crew.  As a Klingon, I would like to share this proverb with you, “Four thousand throats may be killed by one running man”.  Sweet dear one … you are that man.”

Slightly puzzled, Mrs. Bennett looks at him but considering that her husband might mean that she is a hero allows the comment to be received as a compliment.  Contentedly, she kisses her husband’s cheek. On the other side of the van, Kitty and Mary share a secret look with each other and knowingly smile.

As they arrive at the Crestwood corps , they see “Maud” pulling into the parking lot.  As their sisters crawl out, Jane stretches before reaching in again to grab her tenor horn case.  Standing beside her car, Liz shakes her head wildly in the wind to let any flying particles leave their home before putting her hair back into a pony tail.  The air conditioner has gone out again just before the beginning of summer and they had to drive with the windows down.

“I’m so glad you stopped for the sweet tea.  I didn’t expect it to be this hot so early this year” offers Jane sipping for longer than usual on her cold drink “When will you be able to put “Maud” into the shop again?”

“Well, I’m actually considering purchasing another car.  I will miss her.  She is costing more than I can afford to keep her running.  Her expenses each month are totaling more than a car payment” discouragingly states Liz patting the roof of her car as if it is a long-loved pet.

“Well, at least we’ll have air” wiping her brow states Jane as sweat pours down the other side of her face but not noticing that same of her makeup has also started to melt in the meantime.

Walking late into rehearsal, everyone else has found their place and sitting in the band. Captain Brandon turns around to notice the most recent newcomers.  “Hello!  Good to see all of the Bennetts today! We’ve just started with a hymn tune “Come Thou Fount” as a warm-up”.

Quietly Jane finds her place next to the now Lieutenant Ellen Ferris who kindly smiles at her and points to the number where the band is about to play.

In the second chair of the solo cornet section, Liz Steel impatiently asks “Who is sitting in the principal chair?  It doesn’t look like anyone has arrived yet!  If no one is coming, I can move up.”

“We are having guests today.  I received a text a few minutes ago that they are stuck in traffic but will be here soon” explains Brandon not wanting to encourage any movement on her part. “Knightly, there will also be another euphonium player coming today to join you.”

Rather anxious in that being late isn’t exactly his favorite pastime, Mr. Bennett finds his chair next to Wickham who is playing the Eb Tuba part.  They politely nod to each other and flip through their music to distract attention.

“Okay, shall we begin?” courteously asks Brandon raising his baton to the podium but noticing some rapid chaotic movement in the corner of his eye.

“What did you say we were playing again?” asks Alice Hammer sitting in the last chair of the second row of cornets as her tune books fall to the floor from her stand “I’ve seem to have lost my place.”  Lila Steel  takes a moment from her intense focus off of David removing the moisture from his instrument while sitting across from her in the trombone section to help Alice Hammer pick up her folder of formerly organized music.

Shaking her head, Jennings sighs behind her in the percussion section very grateful that at least it is not her this time who is lost.  Last month she put up the wrong band piece while playing the bells.  She did a good job playing for quite awhile to the march tune of “The Yellow Rose of Texas” before realizing that she was playing along with the Euphonium solo of a different ballad piece of “What a Friend with have in Jesus”.  Amazingly the tunes fit rather well together in a slightly western style so at least she personally felt that her mistake wasn’t instantly recognizable.

 Anne sitting next to Ted Ferris resting his soprano on his knee politely asks “Can I share a stand with you? I’m going to give my stand which is a bit more stable to Alice Hammer to borrow for the rehearsal.”

It appears that things are settling down so rehearsal can begin. Just as Captain Brandon raises his baton again counts “One, two, three …” a loud permeating sneeze echoes over the band.  Jennings replies “So sorry, I didn’t know that my nose liked to keep time too!”  Brandon smiles at her while Captain Wentworth on the snare hands her a box of Kleenix which he finds behind the mercy seat just beyond the band in front of the platform.

Captain Brandon rubs his chin and wipes his hands against his pants waiting for another pause.  He happens to glance up and look at Jane who looks a little peculiar but he decides not to say anything.  It is already starting to be an interesting day.

 

The first bar begins with a flugel solo, he looks to Liz Bennett to see if she is ready for her part.  Liz returns a smile and he knows that it is clear to begin.  His hands raise and stall in mid-air to capture everyone’s attention before beginning.  He eyes meet contact with most members of the band.  Mr. Woodhouse sitting next to Mr. Bennett Bb tuba as well appears to have taken a short quick nap against the bell of his horn in the midst of the recent chaos.   Brandon sharply clears his throat which brings him to instant wide-eyed attention.

As Liz begins to play, the music of the band fills the room in its beauty and color.  The tone of the band is even and melodic.  It feels as if all nature is in balance and God is quietly speaking to each of them of their own needs and concerns as He whispers to them through the notes and chords of a familiar song.  The setting has changed, but the lyrics have not.  As the words resound in their hearts as they play, the promises are affirmed in reflection of the music.

In between pieces, Brandon shares a short note of how the pieces came to be written.  Most of the composers were experiencing a difficult transition or moment in their life when they wrote either the music or the lyrics which alternately were currently empathetically touching the lives of those in the band.  Brandon sensitively creates an atmosphere of not only skillful playing but of spiritual renewal as well throughout the rehearsal.

After playing several pieces, the chapel doors open. Harriet sitting next to Lila stands up and waves wildly.  Hey it’s Bingley!  We worked at camp together a few years ago. How are you doing? ” she yells from across the room during the short intermission between pieces. 

Immediately Jane freezes and stares down at the music on her stand trying to focus her thoughts without letting everyone else in the room feel her trembling expression of sheer shock, delight, and agony.

In response Liz turns directly at her sister to see if she is okay and to offer some distant support.  Liz finds herself frowning as Jane raises her face to acknowledge Liz’s concern.  “Uh oh” worried Liz thinks “How can I tell her?”  Liz moves her hands to her cheek and starts wiping her face.  Jane just stares back at her.  Liz begins to point at Jane and wipes her face again.   But unfortunately, Jane too nervous about other events in the room at that moment is a little lost in confusion.

Darcy calmly follows in behind Bingley which his euphonium case in hand.  Bingley beams walking up to Brandon having noticed that Jane is already there even if she hasn’t looked up to notice him yet. “Where would you like me to sit?  I’ll play any part.  I’m so glad you allowed us to play along with you today.  It’s fun to play in a band wherever I go”.

“We’re glad to have both of you join us today!” shaking their hands Brandon points his hand to their respective chairs and they find their places. 

As soon as he sits down, Bingley looks over to see if he can capture Jane’s attention.  But she has raised her stand and turned it towards him so that the view is blocked.  So, he scoots further back in his chair, and raises himself just a bit to see if he can catch a glimpse of her for a moment.  She bends further below her stand as if trying to clear already removed moisture again out of her horn.  Then Bingley filled with another idea, bends over placing his mute on the floor next to his chair to see if he can look at her under the stand. She turns her knees towards Ellen making this impossible.  The band is watching them having heard most of the gossip in the division about their previous break-up rather amused by their routine.  Undeterred, Bingley intentionally hits his stand so that a piece of sheet music goes flying into the air towards the horn section.   Seeing this movement from under her stand, Jane turns to her father behind her “Dad, do you have some valve oil?”

Her father kindly looks at his daughter, “Uh … Jane … I think you might need to take a break for a moment.  There is something I think you might need to fix.”

Not entirely sure what her father means, Jane stands up from her chair and quickly walks past Bingley towards the bathroom who in turn follows her out of the chapel into the fellowship hall.

“Jane, wait a minute!  I would like to talk to you!” runs Bingley after her as she walks even faster towards the restrooms.  He catches up with her and gently touches her arm.  “Jane, how are you?”

Finally Jane looks up not sure how she wants to respond.

Bingley furrows his brow and opens his eyes widely “Jane, I think there is something wrong.”

“Yes, of course there is” affirms Jane surprised that he actually recognized that something has not been quite right between them since he left last fall.

“I think you need to take a look at yourself” stammers Bingley before any other words can come out.

“What?  I need to look at myself?  What about you?  What have you been doing?”  with indignation states Jane.

“I’m here.  I mean … I meant… there’s a problem” taping his cheek while speaking Bingley attempts to warn her.

“Yes, I know there has been a problem.  You stopped speaking to me” firmly states Jane feeling somewhat at ease in that of his recognition that a problem has existed between them.

“Yeah, I know” trying to figure out what exactly is being said Bingley continues “I think something is sticking to you”.

“What? Like bitterness? Maybe hurt?” snaps Jane “What do you expect when you didn’t return any of my emails or even attempt to try and contact when we were such good friends.”

“Uh … no that’s not what I’m talking about … but it isn’t like that” stumbles Bingley shaking his head “I mean that you have a right to feel that way but that’s not what I’m trying to say.”

Interrupting him while he is still speaking, Jane uncharacteristically rattles “What are you trying to say?  You haven’t said anything for so long do you even know what you want to say?”

Completely unnerved and tongue-tied Bingley puts a hand on each shoulder, “Jane, you have dark make-up streaming down your face.  I think you might have smeared your mascara and eye-liner.  You look a little more like a zombie than the Jane that I know.”

“You think that I look bad?” as Jane’s eyes fill with tears not haven’t ever dreamt that she would look so silly when finally meeting up with Bingley again “I didn’t want to look ugly when I saw you again” as she begins to weep.   It is beyond humiliation that she feels able to endure at the moment. She continues while sniffling, “It’s because the air condition in Liz’s car broke.  It was so stinking hot today and she refused to take my car because she wanted to save on gas.  She bought this makeup at a flea market and gave it to me.  I didn’t know it would smear.”

While she is still speaking, Bingley grabs a napkin from one of the tables which is prepared to bring lunch for the divisional band and begins and slowly wipes the dark smeared makeup from her face.  He pulls her close and hugs her. 

“I’m so sorry Jane.  I should have told you why I made that decision.  We probably would have kept in touch if I had given you a chance to explain rather than listening to a lot of irrational gossip of others” sincerely apologizes Bingley holding her closer to him “You meant and mean everything to me.  I’ve missed you.  I’m so sorry that I hurt you and acted like a fool.”

“I’ve miss you so much too” hugging him back Jane continues “Maybe I should have let you know how I felt about you, it might have been easier for you to know how to respond. I heard some of the gossip and it really wasn’t true.  My heart belonged only to you not to anyone else.”

“I know that now. Do you think we could start over?” sweetly asks Bingley looking into her eyes “I think that I might act a little differently this time.  I’m not going to run away from you.”

Looking up and smiling at him while Bingley holds her, Jane softly replies “I don’t want to go anywhere other than being next to you.”

 

 

Blood and Fire - Chapter Forty One

Running through the front door waving a letter that she is carrying above her head , Kitty yells “Lydia sent a letter!”

“My baby has written!” cries Mrs. Bennett grabbing the letter out of Kitty’s hand “My baby girl hasn’t forgotten me!”

“I suppose she finally decided to write.  It’s only been four weeks” practically responds Mary slightly perturbed that even in her absence Lydia has been hogging most of the family’s attention “She probably needs money.”

“Well, perhaps she does, Mary, but it’s a great comfort to know that she is okay wherever she is” remarks her Father who is anxiously hoping that a return address is included on the envelope.

“At least we know that she has been all right through friends” positively replies Jane sighing at her sister’s continual insensitivity towards the rest of the family “even if we haven’t heard directly from her.  It appears that Wickham is still with her and taking care of her.”

“Where is she, mom?” asks Liz wanting to know some details.

“It still doesn’t say.  But she says all is well and she will be back soon for us to throw a bridal party with all her friends” excitedly replies Mrs. Bennett “She has included several different places where she now has a bridal registry that we can give to her friends so she can have exactly what she wants.”

“Is she married?” frankly asks Mary “When did that happen?”

Reading a little future into the letter, Mrs. Bennett explains “She and Wickham will be here next Saturday!  No wait!  They’re coming today!  The mail took so long to get here, that she’s actually coming today!  I wonder why she didn’t use email?  It would have been much quicker. She wants me to make her room into a guest room for them while they look for a house.  Isn’t this the most wonderful thing to happen?”

“Does it mention anything else?” asks Liz a little puzzled by her sister’s silence with a lack of explanation of what has happened the last month.

“No, not really” bounces Mrs. Bennett “It just says she misses us all and looking forward to coming back as a wife, since she will be the first one to be married of all her sisters.”

Mary rolls her eyes and plops down next to her father on the sofa, bluntly stating “I don’t think that is the way I want to find a husband.”

“At least it appears Wickham is taking care of her and she seems happy in her letter” replies Jane trying to lighten the tension in the room.

“I’ll make some coffee” states Liz unable to sort-through the different emotions she is feeling all at once.

Jane follows her into the kitchen.  “Are you all right, Liz?”

“I’m fine.  I’m upset with Lydia that is all” remarks Liz trying to define how she is feeling “She somehow manages to make things difficult for everyone else but then always comes back without a scratch while everyone is left still healing their wounds.”

“Have you heard from Darcy since the day she left?” tenderly asks Jane knowing the real reason for Liz’s anger.

“No, I have not.  I don’t know what’s going on.  His office said he’s been on a business trip for a couple of weeks and then has also taken some vacation time” responds Liz but with some sorrow “I don’t know if it is the truth or if he is avoiding me, or perhaps a little of both”.

As they are making a tray of cups filled with hot steaming coffee, she can hear her younger sister’s familiar laughter permeating the other room.

In shock with a look of knowing, Jane and Liz stare at each other for a moment, Liz finally responds “They’re here. I guess it is time to go out and meet the new couple”.

“Oh it’s so good to see everyone!  I’m an old married lady now, you know!” states Lydia flashing a very expensive diamond wedding ring set so that all in the room can see “It’s been ages!  None of you look the same, I can’t believe how fast time flies.”

“It’s only been a month” frankly responds Mary “What are you talking about?  We all look the same, except for you but you’ve only added a ring or two.”

For a second Lydia sneers at her, “Yes, I have changed.  I’m now a Mrs. instead of a Miss.  I’m a grown woman now unlike all of you.”

“If you were ‘grown’ you would have to use that word to describe yourself, we would already know” sourly Mary points out the obvious “Just because you call yourself a ‘woman’ doesn’t mean you know how to be one beyond knowing how to wear high heels and makeup.”

The room is silent for a woman except a nervous giggle from Lydia, “Mary, you’re just jealous because you’re still single. You’ll know what it means to be a woman once you’re married.”

Uncomfortable with the tension between her sisters, Kitty looks down at her feet recognizing that married life hasn’t made her sister any kinder or wiser.

“Would you like some coffee?” politely asks Liz trying to find another topic of conversation and then turning to Wickham who has already made himself comfortable in her father’s favorite chair “Welcome to the family.”

“Thank you.  Your sister is wonderful.  I think we make a good couple, wouldn’t you say?” charmingly asks Wickham as Lydia takes his hand “If you had played your cards right, you might be sitting next to me instead.”

“I guess I don’t know how to play your games” responds Liz with shielded directness “I prefer to play the ones I already know and like.”

Straightening up in his borrowed recliner, Wickham mutely receives her point and shares a glance with Lydia pursing her lips who is a little upset at the mention that her sister would even be considered a replacement to her.

“Oh Liz, have you heard from Darcy?” asks Lydia following Liz into the kitchen to retrieve more coffee.

“No, I haven’t” nonchalantly answers Liz not wanting to provoke any response from her sister.

“He’s been such a dear, helping us out and everything.  I don’t know what we would have done without him.  He took care of all the details.  We really didn’t have to do anything at all” states Lydia instigating a response from Liz.

“I didn’t know that you had seen him lately” surprised answers Liz.

“He asks about you all the time.  I thought you were good friends.  He always is asking if you like this or that, what you like to do, what are your favorite things.  If I didn’t know better, I would say he had a crush on you” teases Lydia wanting to gain her sister’s confidence.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about” responds Liz still aching from the last month because his silence “How did he help you?”

“Well, he told me not to tell anyone.  But I guess because you’re my sister that doesn’t count.  Ariel Shephard use to be married to Wickham.  Lydia Russell came to the party claiming that he still was.”

Liz looks at Lydia somehow not surprised by this new revelation considering Wickham’s character, “Ok, so why did you go off with him?”

“I haven’t finished telling you everything yet.  Ariel’s father was also his dad’s lawyer.  She was jilted by Dan Clay at the altar and Wickham was getting over some other girl whose brother had broke them up because the brother thought Wickham wasn’t good enough for her” explains Lydia in a tone of sincere sympathy.

“So, how does this affect you?” asks Liz trying to put the pieces together.

“Well, they both got married to each other on the rebound.  Her father thought that Wickham still had the same fortune that he had inherited from his father and Mr. Darcy.  But Wickham spent it all on credit cards and other debt” explains Lydia in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Ok, so what does that have to do with anything?” asks Liz a little more confused.

“Just listen.  Ariel wanted his inheritance.  She thought Wickham was hiding it from her.  She also had a lot of debt that she had gained during the short time they were married.  He refused to pay her bills on the grounds that he didn’t have any money.  She didn’t believe him” continues Liz.

“So did he have money or not?” asks Liz not sure where the story is going.

“Well, not really” explains Lydia “He claims he wasn’t keeping some of it hidden away from her, but was still waiting on some of his inheritance that he would inherit at 25 from Mr. Darcy.”

“So far they are still married, what happened?” skeptically asks Liz wondering what story she will hear.

“Well, he went to divorce her because they weren’t getting along.  But she refused to divorce him with encouragement from the father about this money he was supposedly inheriting when he turned 25.  He didn’t know what to do” Excuses Lydia “So, he took off.  He’s been asking for a divorce for two years now and she has refused him every time.”

“Are you married now?” asks Liz “or are you just planning to be married?”

“Oh, yes.  We’re married.  Darcy helped us out so much!” gratefully explains Lydia “I don’t know what we would have done if Wickham didn’t have Darcy as such a good friend.”

Liz raises her eyebrows completely confused at this revelation “Friends?”

“Oh , yes … the best of friends” confirms Lydia with complete confidence “Darcy paid off all of Wickham’s debt and gave money to Ariel so she would sign the divorce papers.”

“What?  Why would he do that?” shocked asks Liz.

“I don’t know, but it certainly helped us!  Anyway, Ariel Shephard is dating Dan Clay.   Our mutual friends are saying that they are nearly engaged again and will probably be getting married in the next few months” explains Lydia and then to offer some explanation of why she was willing to run away with Wickham “Ariel has been dating Mr. Clay the entire time since Wickham left but has been waiting on his inheritance before she would divorce Wickham.  Evidently Dan Clay doesn’t have much money and it was more her father’s idea to wait than her own.”

“Darcy not only paid the debt, the allowance, and the divorce, but he also gave us quite a pretty sum to start our new life together as a wedding present” offers Lydia “I don’t think that we will ever be able to thank Darcy for everything he has done for us.  You need to be nice to him, Liz.  I think he likes you even if you don’t like him.  He’s going to be a part of our family which also includes you.”

In disbelief of how the tables have turned, Liz stares at her sister for a moment unable to think of what to say.  “I’ll try to be nice when I see him again.”

“Please don’t mention anything that I’ve told you.  It was suppose to be a secret.  He’ll be mad at me if he finds out I told you.  He’s rather prideful in that way” explains Lydia with an air of familiar intimacy beyond the actual relationship “I think he is one of the mostly kindest and thoughtful people I know though.  You shouldn’t be so prejudice against him just because he has money.  He’s able to help people with it, like Wickham and myself.”