Blood and Fire - Chapter Eleven

“I just got a text from Denny, he’s back in town!” screams Lydia running to find her sister clipping out celebrities and other note worthy people from magazines and gluing them to a poster board to hang in her room.

Jumping over the pile of magazines, Lydia pauses and curiously looks behind her “Kitty, why are you using a National Geographic?” stopping Lydia in her tracks noticing that she is pasting an unfamiliar face in between a picture of the commoner Kate Middleton who will soon be marry Prince William and another picture of Captain “Sully” Shellenberger who saved many of his plane passengers.

“It has a face that represents 7 billion people in the world. I think everyone has a chance at being famous” nonchalantly replies Kitty “I want to be famous some day too!”

“Umm . . . what would you be known for?” asks Lydia strangely interested in hearing her sister’s reply.

“I’d like to be a skydiver but one who ‘dances’ in the sky. You know, something similar to water ballet but in the clouds” honestly replies Kitty daydreaming of her possible future adventures.

“How would that work? What would you do with your backpack? You would be going so fast. How would you remember to open it after all that dancing?” inquisitively asks Lydia not exactly appreciating the visual of her sister falling from several miles in the sky.

“I don’t know. I would just know. But don’t you think it would be great? I’d have to find somebody to dance with me though” considers Kitty “it wouldn’t be much fun by my self”.

“Good luck with that” frankly replies Lydia “By the way, what I really came in to tell you is that Denny is spending his college Christmas break at Meryton. He’s going to be staying with Aunt Phillips!” explains Lydia “We can go see him any time we want! Mom won’t mind because he’s staying with our cousins!”

“What is he doing there? Why would he go to Meryton?” asks Kitty not knowing why anyone would ever bother to visit Meryton let alone spend their entire Christmas break there.

“He’s going to be a bell ringer and play his trumpet at the kettles. He says it will help pay for some of his college tuition the next semester and it’s something he likes to do” Lydia continues twirling in the room and hugging her less than impressed sister “Honestly, I don’t really care why he is here I’m just so excited he is coming!”

“Is anyone else coming with him?” hopefully asks Kitty knowing that college boys are often the cutest.

“Actually, there is an entire ensemble that is coming to ring at the kettles. There might even be one for you, Kitty! We just have to convince our parents or Liz to let us borrow her car” strategizes Lydia.

“I think you would have more luck boring the minivan rather than asking Liz or Jane. Liz is delusional where ‘Maud’ is concerned. She thinks her car is too precious to touch” sulks Kitty at the futility of that particular request.

“Jane will let us use her car. She has a hard time saying ‘no’ to anybody. But we will probably have to use our allowance to pay for gas” considers Lydia apprehensive about the lack of cash in her purse “I need a job then we would have some real money. I shouldn’t have quit the dollar movie theater when they got so mad at me for putting too much salt on the popcorn. Who doesn’t like salty popcorn? Movie theater popcorn is the best because of the coconut oil and the salt just makes it taste better!”

“Maybe you could try the sandwich shop the next time. They pay a quarter more per hour. It would definitely be an upgrade” suggests Kitty attempting to be helpful but relieved that she has already found a job as an aid at the day care on the corner.

“You have money! I forgot! We can use your savings for gas!” inspired confirms Lydia “I wouldn’t need a job and then we could go as much as we wanted!”

“I would still need to work though. You need to pay half of it too because that is not fair” considers Kitty but liking the idea of spending more time in Meryton especially if there are attractive boys around “Do you think that I look like a senior? I’ve still got a year to go, but college guys will date a girl if she is a senior.”

“Umm . . . let me see. We’ll need to do something with your hair and makeup and I think you could possibly pass for a senior” instructs Lydia assured that her maturity will provide the necessary guidance for encouraging another year of growth.

Kitty clips and adds a few more pictures of Oprah, Christa McAuliffe – NASA’s first teacher in space, Ty Pennington with Habitat for Humanity, and JLo from “American Idol”.

In the meantime, Lydia takes out her cell phone which she keeps on her at all times in case Maria Lucas calls with the current suspenseful and tragic local high school gossip of ‘whom’ is dating ‘whoever’ and of course ‘who’ is mad at ‘another’ and no longer speaking to them for the rest of eternity.

“Jane? Are you busy? Kitty asked me to call you. Kitty wants to borrow your car to see a friend in Meryton” states Lydia hoping that she will be more willing to let Kitty borrow her car since the last time that she drove and accidently backed into one of the yellow poles at the bank denting Jane’s bumper and leaving pale mustard colored remnants on the frame. “It really wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t there before” silently reflects Lydia “some one put it in my way”.

“How about if I drive you to Meryton on Saturday?” suggests Jane having thought about going to Meryton earlier in the day “I need to go there anyway. There is a music store I would like to go to that has several selections of sheet music which is difficult to find anymore.”

“Okay, whatever” replies Lydia glad that it is all right to go but not wanting a long discussion about various types of old favorites that her oldest sister hopes to discover “What time will you be by to pick us up?”

“How does ten sound?” offers Jane thinking that it would be have an all-girls day again with her sisters.

“Sounds good, but I’ll have to kick Kitty out of bed. She likes to sleep-in until noon and then just grunts like a caveman for the next two hours while she tries to pry her eyes open” explains Lydia dreading the alarm going off seven times on a Saturday morning before Kitty will finally get up.

“I’ll see you then! Love you and be good!” suggests Jane with slightly more intent and emphasis than a typical farewell.

On Saturday morning there is a loud honk outside. Mary is the first one out the door wearing a fanny pack to protect her money which she quietly hoards until the delightful moment of finding something that she wants such as nighttime inferred goggles for camping, black light florescent socks, or a secret stash of Royal Family trading cards which she only takes out on special occasions. Hearing of the invitation, Mary has willfully decided to join the inane frivolity of her sisters to Meryton in hopes of a great purchase.

Lydia and Kitty follow closely behind dressed up with full make-up in their recent purchases from the Longbourne Mall.

“That is some red lipstick Kitty. Where did you find it?” asks Liz sitting in the front passenger seat of the forest green two-door Ford Focus but noticing that she would also like a true red in that shade to go with her uniform.

“Its called “Santa’s Stocking” and I found it at the dollar store. I really like it but it is difficult to remove unless it is smearing on some of your clothes” saddened states Kitty from personal experience.

“Well, doesn’t anyone notice what I’m wearing? I’m wearing “Plum Passion” right now. I also bought “Eve’s Kiss” which is almost the same red” Lydia considers “I think the inventors must have been talking about the apple she bit into.”

Mary stubbornly corrects “It was not an apple. The Bible only mentions it being a piece of fruit from the Tree of Life in the Garden of Eden”.

“Whatever. She still ate it whether it tasted good or not” Lydia further explains her train of thought “I don’t like fruit. The only kinds of fruit I like are apples. Eve probably only liked apples too!”

Liz rolls her eyes and considers that it not worth the effort to enter the hopeless conversation in the backseat of the car.

Trying to change the discussion, Jane suggests “Why don’t we play ‘eye spy’ on the way to Meryton using license plates? See, there is an A on that plate from Oregon” pointing to the car in front of her.

“I see a B on that blue minivan!” joins Kitty trying to enjoy the game rather than Mary nudging her elbow into her rib because of trying to squeeze three life sized adults in the back seat.

“There’s a C on that red convertible. Hey, I think that might be Darcy and Bingley. Hurry Jane! I think they are passing us!” yells Lydia excited to see some friends along the road and wanting to race them. Jane suddenly slows down.

“Why are you breaking? We’ll miss them!” anxiously calls out Kitty.

“I don’t want them to think we are following them” explains Jane a little unnerved that she didn’t dress up more not knowing that there would be a chance to see Bingley today.

“I think it might be too late for that. Bingley already waved back to us before Lydia noticed the C on the license plate” explains Mary “I wonder if they are going to Meryton too?”

“We were on the road first. If anybody is following anyone, he is following you! However, I think Darcy is driving not Bingley” suggests Lydia trying to make Jane feel better “I don’t think Darcy is the one interested in you though”.

Liz smiles knowing that there is no way that Darcy could be following her but pleased at the thought that it would be really nice if that were actually possible. It has been a long couple of months. However, Jane has heard from Bingley on a fairly regular basis and assumes that she told Bingley they would be in Meryton for the day. She wonders how Bingley convinced Darcy to go along as well.

Upon arriving at Meryton, “Do you think you could have driven any slower? I think that took 20 minutes longer than ever!” replies Lydia shaking her head at Jane’s nonsense.

Kitty whispers in Lydia’s ear, “Where are they? Did Denny text you?”

“They are in front of Kindlewoods” whispers Lydia “Jane, why don’t we go over to Kindlewoods. I hear they are having a sale!”

Jane parks the car along the curb and puts some spare change that she mostly uses for soda money in the parking meter.

“Look whose here!” exclaims Lydia running up to Denny and giving him a huge hug “What a surprise to see you!”

“Lydia, it’s been a long time! I want to introduce you to some of my friends. This is Graham Pratt on horn, Mark Yates on trombone, and Dan Wickham on Euphonium. Who is with you?”

“You remember Kitty from camp. These are my older sisters, Mary, Liz, and Jane” introduces Lydia as each of them politely greeting the others.

“We’re shopping today” anxiously explains Mary not too excited about the delay in her plans.

“We’ve been playing carols for about two hours and looking forward to a break. Would you like to join us for some hot chocolate?” asks Denny thrilled to see someone near his age and so pretty in the small town.

“Sure! I think there is a café on the corner called “Ethel’s Enchantment”. They have some great homemade pies and a variety of coffees too” suggests Lydia taking Denny’s arm and leading him down the block.

The largest available table only has four seats. Lydia, Kitty, Denny and Pratt are at one table with Jane, Mary, and Yates at the other. Rather than letting Liz sit by herself, Wickham joins her in the two-seater orange pleather booth and concentrates on the plastic sleeved menus with black cloth trim listing several delicious bakery items.

“So Denny tells me that you are quite an interesting person” compliments Wickham taking a seat next to Liz quietly away from the others listening to shrills of Lydia’s laughter at something humorous Denny has said.

“I’m not sure that your terms sounds like a good thing” jokes Liz not sure how to take his friendly manner and warmth.

“Interesting can include adjectives such as captivating and astonishing. I think anyone with those qualities would be a ‘good’ thing” replies Wickham enjoying Liz’s ease of conversation.

“Good is a loaded word and can be defined as so many different things to each person” states Liz “but I suppose for the most part, I am ‘good’ if I need a definition to explain myself”.

“I’m not. I only pretend to be in order to get what I want” teases Wickham with an unknown ring of truth in his statement.

“So how long are you in town for?” asks Liz wanting to start another topic of conversation.

“I’m here through the holidays. I don’t have to be back at college until the end of January if I have enough money for tuition. It is a rather expensive Christian school that I am attending. But as you know a lot of Salvationists attend the college and it is a good way to make future connections” explains Wickham feeling her sympathy “I was robbed of my inheritance so I have to work in order to make it through school.”

“Really? What happened?” curiously asks Liz intrigued by his personal story.

“My dad use to work for the Darcy family. Mark Darcy’s father and my dad had been in the military together. My dad saved him and Mr. Darcy was indebted to him but they were also very good friends. When my dad was promoted to glory, Mr. Darcy basically adopted me. I came to live in the Darcy’s family home when I was 16. When Mr. Darcy passed away when Darcy and I were both 19, I inherited a great fortune from his will. But as the overseer Mark Darcy refused to release the money to me. I wanted to go to college and then on to the training school as an officer, but Darcy felt that I wasn’t “good enough” to become an officer or to go to college for that matter.”

“That’s terrible!” interjects Liz intent on listening to Darcy’s cruel arrogance and conceit “What did you do?”

“I did what any young man would do under those conditions. I joined the military for awhile and have now been discharged. I’m going to school but barely making ends meet” explains Wickham as Liz offers her hand across the table in support and sympathy.

“You seem like such a wonderful person and that it such an obnoxious and selfish thing to do! How dare he!” states Liz feeling that there might be a new mission coming her way.

The tinker bell on the clear door rings as Liz looks up to find Darcy and Bingley entering the café. Liz is surprised to find how excited she is to see him in spite the circumstances.

Liz smiles at first but then glares at Darcy. She then looks down realizing that Wickham is watching her embarrassed that she would be friends with someone who could be so callous to another.

“Look it’s Bingley, Jane!” yells Lydia and with less enthusiasm but still joking “And his ‘robin’, Darcy. I think you forgot your capes if you are coming to rescue us!”

Bingley smiles and walks directly over to Jane’s table to say hello. Darcy remains by the front glass display case of fresh bakery items. He looks puzzled with a note of concern.

“Hello Darcy. It has been a long time” finally responds Wickham after a long strained pause.

“Yes it has” sharply states Darcy feeling extremely uncomfortable and angry that he should find Liz holding hands with Wickham.

Feeling Darcy’s eyes on her, Liz subconsciously releases Wickham’s hand and feels uneasiness in her perception of the moment but not entirely sure how to explain it.

“What are you doing here?” interrogates Darcy in a tone of authority as if investigating a crime.

“I’m in town for the Christmas season. I’m working for the Meryton corps ringing bells at the kettles to help with my college tuition” frankly states Wickham looking over at Liz to make sure that she is listening.

Darcy shrugs or some might say shivers “When will you be leaving?”

“I’m here until January unless better plans come along” smiles Wickham at Liz quite at ease feeling that he has the upper hand of the situation.

As these words enter the room, a melodic “Hello there!” echoes throughout the café. Collins is wearing yellow smiley face ear muffs, a tight knit light tan hat with dangling knit balls on each side, a mustard yellow parka, and burnt orange safety boots with fur trimmed edges with his pants tucked in for warmth, “Liz, I didn’t know you would be here in Meryton today! How exciting we get to see each other two days in a row! I can hardly wait for our ‘date’ tomorrow!”

Liz turns beat red but doesn’t know what to say . . . Mary gives her daggers but then completely relaxes into giggles when Collins plops down in next to Mary in the one empty chair at their table.

Darcy feels pangs of jealousy but tries to ignore them at the moment. “Bingley, I forgot that I have a business appointment this afternoon. We need to get back to Longbourne.”

Bingley and Jane look extremely disappointed at the abrupt farewell and say goodbye to each other with faithful promises that they will see each other again soon.

Let down Bingley walks out of the café behind Darcy who is already crossing the middle of the street.

“See! Isn’t he such a pompous jerk?” observes Wickham leaning in closer so Liz can hear “I never had to chance to have what was rightfully mine.”

“He had no right to take your inheritance from you!” explains Liz subconsciously exaggerating to win some obtuse favor with the attractive Wickham “It sounds so like him! He is definitely more of a snob and selfish than I even thought!”

Blood and Fire - Chapter Ten

“Girls! Your mother’s prayers have been finally answered!” yells Mr. Bennett up the stairs as the girls head down to see what their father is so excited about.

“What are you talking about?” ask Liz acting half amused by her father’s statement.

“I wanted to make a family announcement so that you all can hear. Liz and Jane this includes you as well” teasingly states Mr. Bennett grabbing his perturbed wife by her waist.

“Mrs. Bennett has just informed me of some exciting news in regards to Longbourne Citadel. The earnest prayers of your mother and all of you have been answered. Longbourne is finally been sent a single man” states Mr. Bennett looking around to see that he has all five daughters attention.

The girls anxiously look back in return. “Who is it?” asks Kitty “Is he cute?”

“I’m certain that he will certainly fulfill the wishes of at least one lucky girl waiting to lose her senses and be star-crossed in loved once in awhile. She will forget everyday details such as homework decorated with hearts and a string of repetitive “Mr & Mrs” and wonder where it was misplaced only to find it in the refrigerator. She will forget her name when it is called. She will sing off-key to endless love songs on the radio to the annoyance of every else in the house. But ultimately she will be crushed by unrequited love and we will be left to pick up the pieces.”

“Who’s coming, dad?” asks Lydia rolling her eyes “Any guy I like is definitely going to like me back!”

“Your mother tells me that we should have met him before. He is a young lieutenant coming to us from Crestwood. Evidently, he must be one of the sharper cadets from his session since he was stationed as such a grand corps.” Sighing to the side, Mr. Bennett adds “However, after speaking to him this afternoon I will graciously let you be the finer judge of character and wit. He may make a son-in-law yet!”

“Is he tall?” asks Mary suspecting that this may be “her” lieutenant that she watched during the wedding at Netherfield.

“I don’t Mary. I haven’t been able to see through the phone yet. However, you might sign me up for Skype and I will check him out for you” smiling replies Mr. Bennett patting her on the back.

“I don’t remember there being a good-looking Lieutenant at the concert. Are you sure he was there?” asks Lydia trying desperately to recall every eligible man at the wedding whom she rated on a scale of one to ten. Ten, of course as all teen girls know, being “hot”!

“Well, it seems in order not to reprimand by your mother or any of you; I have invited him over to dinner tonight to welcome him to Longbourne Citadel” replies Mr. Bennett confidently pleased with his memory and effort.

“Tonight? I don’t have time to get ready and neither do the girls. What time is he coming?” asks Mrs. Bennett already rushing in circles around the living room trying to decide on where to begin to prepare for the Lieutenant’s arrival.

Looking at his watch, “He’ll be here in a little over an hour. As Spock would say, “Mr. Scott I understand you are having trouble with warp drive, how long do you require for the repair?”

“We’ll need at least an hour. Keep him busy if he should arrive before then” responds to Mrs. Bennett use to his random quotes from Star Trek when they are in a crisis “Come on girls its time to get ready as quickly as we can!”

Mr. Bennett yells behind them across the living room as the girls rush upstairs to freshen up “As Gowron would say, “Act, and you shall have dinner; wait, and you shall be dinner!”

Liz smiles at her dad but doesn’t join the pandemonium of her sisters. Mr. Bennett asks “Aren’t you going to get ready too?”

They have spent many hours watching reruns on TV of the various Starfleet series and she likes to keep up with her dad. “As Worf would say, ‘I like my species the way it is.’”

Near the hour mark, the girls come downstairs with freshly applied make-up, a new outfit accented with their favorite perfume, and hair styled so that it won’t move in a brisk breeze.

They demurely wait for their anticipated guest to arrive. “I don’t remember a lieutenant being there. There were tons of handsome captains though! Do you remember any lieutenants Kitty?” asks Lydia aggravated that her memory is not assisting her right now.

“I don’t remember any lieutenant except the guy in the corner who was sneezing a lot with the short pants and brown socks. Dad couldn’t possibly be talking about him . . .” considers Kitty wrapping her hair around her index finger as she contemplates the possibilities.

“I remember him! He was heavenly! Do you think he could be coming here? He was dreamy!” exclaims Mary clasping her hands together at the blissful thought.

Kitty and Lydia share a ‘look’. “I certainly hope not!” declares Lydia “There has to be some other guy that dad was talking about.”

“I thought he was wonderful! Even the way he pushed up his glasses on his nose while at the same time clearing his sinuses by pressing against his nose was so ingenious. Two steps in one! He’s so practical!” enthusiastically gushes Mary remembering her attraction to him and then warns “Lydia, don’t flirt so much with him. He’s mine. I like him. You always giggle, flatter, and tease so much that the guys can’t help but notice you! And don’t block him every time he turns so that the only person he can see is you! Don’t touch his arm or get too close to him either!”

“Really Mary, you can have him if it is the same guy that you are talking about. He’s all yours” offers Lydia but then manipulatively reconsiders her proposal “but it means that you owe me a favor sometime”.

“Okay. But leave him alone tonight!” threatens Mary taking a second look in the large mirror above the sofa reluctantly use to her sister gaining the affections of the opposite sex whether she is interested or not.

While they wait for the special guest to arrive, Jane is knitting in the corner enjoying the circus but decides it is time to interrupt and encourage her middle sibling “Mary, I’m sure that if he is meant for you, he will be interested in you whether there is anyone else in the room or not”.

Kitty jumps down the last four stairs with a large ‘plop’ that resounds throughout the house.

“Is everyone all right?” asks an agitated Mrs. Bennett “Is anyone hurt?”

“It’s just me mom. I somehow missed my landing and ended up on my backside. But not to worry, I’m okay” replies Kitty “I may have to go and change though because I think that I ripped the seam on my jean skirt”.

“Well, hurry up! This time don’t jump down the stairs like I’ve told you so many times before! You are a lady today not practicing to be a paratrooper!” replies Mrs. Bennett.

“You never know mom. I could end up being a lady AND a paratrooper!” honestly replies Kitty having admired the excitement and thrill of jumping from planes of others.

The doorbell rings disturbing the peaceful chaos in the living room.

“I think he’s here!” exclaims Mary brushing down all imaginary wrinkles in her floral dress. She fixes the bow in her hair as she hurries to stand behind her dad as he answers the door.

Standing before them in a slim young man about twenty-five with thick white rimmed plastic glasses, dirty blond tangled curled hair which he has plastered with gel on the sides for special effect, wearing a tight fitted shirt buttoned at the front exposing a brown stained undershirt and also wearing pants about four inches above the floor. In the center of his belt, is a five by four inch iron belt buckle with an Army flag imprinted in the middle. He smiles exposing all of his gums.

“Welcome to our home!” greets Mr. Bennett adding “My girls have dressed up and have anxiously been waiting for your arrival! Please come into our humble abode”.

“Hello. My name is Lieutenant Collins. My mother calls me William, but you can call me Lieutenant” offers Collins wanting to take note of his seniority.

“Thanks for coming, ‘Lou’. It will be good to have you here. I’m sure we will become more acquainted as time goes on” suggests Mr. Bennett leading him into the dining room.

Shyly Mary trails behind him observing her height in comparison with the lanky lieutenant confidently sauntering in front of her. Lydia and Kitty follow behind giggling and mimicking his ‘original’ walk that includes a bit of a leg shake and skip.

Behind the jovial group, Jane and Liz share a grin and expectantly head toward the dining room.

“So Lou, all of us would like to know what brings you this way to our neck-of-the-woods?” asks Mr. Bennett

“As a ‘lieutenant’ we have to accept moving orders whatever may come our way as any good officer does. I’ve been assigned to Longbourne Citadel to help your officers with all the duties of Christmas” explains Collins “However, I will farewell again in January to everyone’s dismay I am sure and return to Crestwood with the gracious Colonel Debourgh.”

“Interesting. So you are only with us for about four months. Such a short time to make friends but I am sure you will work hard and put forth all of your potential in spite of what is finally accomplished” suggests Mr. Bennett “The girls in the corps will only have such a short time to admire all of your qualifications.”

“I’m not sure I know what you mean?” asks Collins.

“There are only so many eligible men in the region and you, Lou, are now one of them. Each girl has their list and now you have the opportunity of fulfilling all of the prerequisites to be considered for marriage” explains Mr. Bennett chuckling at the absurd thought “You might find one of these girls in my own family so be careful and choosy.”

“You don’t need to worry about that. I have made a similar list myself. I need a companion who will match my charm and discourse, be an excellent preacher and naturally be obedient to any wisdom I might offer” explains Collins.

Wide-eyed Liz glares at him and thinks to herself. “I doubt he would know the difference between Home League and Community Care unless someone told him.”

At his side Mary unabashedly smiles at Collins as he continues to chatter his nonsense to the consternation of the older guests at the table excluding Mrs. Bennett who only notices that there is not a ring permanently attached on his left hand.

“So what can you tell us about your last appointment?” asks Mrs. Bennett thrilled that a single man is blessing her home and might find matrimony with one of her daughters.

“Colonel Debourgh is the wisest and experienced officer I know. Her heritage goes back for generations with the Army. I’m sure her blood runs red, yellow, and blue” seeing that he has captured everyone’s attention Collins continues with dramatic effect “She knows how to unfurl the flag and shout ‘Fire Volley!” while the rest of us who humbly surround her presence shout “Amen!”

“I’m sure that is quite an awesome show” acknowledges Mr. Bennett and then smiling “Perhaps one day I’ll be able to join you with a few ‘hallelujahs’ of my own.”

Liz skeptically looks at her father and wonders if the young lieutenant realizes her father is politely teasing him.

“Yes, I am sure that Colonel Debourgh would be pleased for you to help her carry the flag” replies Collins impressed that Mr. Bennett is an old Army enthusiast. “I’ll let you in on a secret. One of the current campaigns that Colonel Debourgh is promoting throughout the territory is the return of the bonnet.”

“Oh, you’ve got to be joking!” shrieks Lydia before noticing that her mother is giving her daggers not wanting to upset the lieutenant but ignoring her “It’s so old fashioned!”

“The bonnet is a lovely representation of Army tradition. I think women are not willing to wear bonnets they should at least wear hats. It is the only place in which the shield is evident” replies Collins ready for a debate.

“If that is so, then why don’t men wear their hats inside buildings? Nothing on their uniform has a shield on it either!” returns Lydia not one to back off from a challenge “I’m so glad those awful things aren’t required anymore! Who wants to wear a tight felt hat in a hundred degree weather? Only an absolute moron!”

“Oww!” Lydia feels a swift kick under the table brandishing her shin and looks up to find her mother sharply grinning at her through her teeth.

Collins sticks his chin out and his nose in the air finished in his discussion with Lydia who now appears to be nursing her leg under the table.

Jane realizing that the conversation needs some help begins “So, Lieutenant Collins what are your hobbies?”

“I don’t have any. I’m too busy to have any time for hobbies. A good officer is continually busy” suggests Collins.

“Certainly, the Army can’t be your entire life. You must enjoy something beyond just going to the corps and doing statistics” remarks Liz “All officers need to have a place just to be themselves in order to maintain some sense of well-being and peace considering how much time is spent helping people in crisis. They can’t be very effective if they have lost their own sense of identity. It’s not mentally healthy or wise. What do you do enjoy doing in your free time?”

Not appreciating Liz’s rebuke but knowing underneath there is some truth to her statement Collins offers, “Sometimes I guess that I like to spend Sunday afternoons with my karaoke machine. I like to dress up like Elvis and sing some of his favorites.”

Lydia and Kitty bust up laughing. Next to them, Mary invites “You’ll have to sing “It’s Now or Never” for us sometime!”

“Lou, that’s quite a talent and seems like quite a bit of fun. Maybe I’ll join you one Sunday afternoon for my own rendition of “All Shook Up”” as Mr. Bennett begins to sing in a mock Elvis tone “my hands are shaky and my knees are weak” and then states “Unfortunately in my experience, it is a daily occurrence due to old age rather than as the consequence of love.”

“Quit teasing!” replies Mrs. Bennett nudging him on the shoulder laughing.

“I’m not teasing. My knees wobble and my hands do tremble” replies Mr. Bennett intentionally missing Mrs. Bennett’s warning point about goading Collins.

“I have quite a few tracks from which to choose from” offers Lieutenant Collins as Kitty and Lydia try to stifle giggles across from him “You may join me any time that you like to.”

“Thank you so much! I appreciate your offer” expressing gratitude Mr. Bennett is genuinely pleased that Collins seems to have some redeemable qualities such as sharing “Girls, perhaps one of you would like to join us as well!”

Lydia and Kitty look horrified. Mary interrupts “I would love to! I know nearly all of his songs and it would be so much fun!”

“How about Liz or Jane? Do either of you know any songs of Elvis?” asks Collins eager that either of them might share in one of his hobbies.

“I know a few songs” weakly offers Jane slumping a little in her chair hoping that a date will not be set up by her mother.

“You don’t want to sing with Jane. Jane doesn’t know that many songs that she knows the lyrics too. She spends most of her time playing the piano not singing” frankly states Mrs. Bennett trying to defuse Collins’ obvious interest “Jane spends most of her afternoons with Charles Bingley anyway. She’s already ‘taken’ but perhaps Liz would like to sing a duet with you.”

Liz sulks for a moment wishing that she sang less and played the piano more. “I don’t know that I would be very good.”

“I could teach you. I’m a very good singer and I could give you some tips on how to sing better. You would have to listen to me though if you want to sing well. I can’t stand it when someone does not listen to my advise!” angrily recalls Collins “How can someone expect to get better if they are not willing to learn anything!”

“Thank you for the invitation. Maybe one day when either of us have time I can sing Karaoke with you” offers Liz hoping the day will never arrive.

“What are you doing this Sunday?” eagerly asks Collins.

“I uh, uh . . .” Liz looks at Jane hoping that she can provide some excuse that she can’t think of at the moment.

“Liz isn’t busy. Her plans have been cancelled. She would love to spend the afternoon with you” states Mrs. Bennett accepting the invitation on Liz’s behalf.

“Great! I’ll see you then!” excitedly exclaims Collins jumping a little in his seat.

Mary stares down Liz narrowing her eyes and tightening her lips. She thinks “How dare Liz steal him from me? I was worried about Lydia and all along Liz wanted him!”

Liz shrugs her shoulders and twists in her chair looking down at her food. This isn’t how she expected to spend her next Sunday afternoon. She was hoping that Darcy might visit again with Bingley and be invited to spend the afternoon with them.

As Lieutenant Collins heads out the door excited for the prospects of the following week, Mr. Bennett looks at Liz with his arm around her shoulder “So have you found the man of your dreams?”

Liz flatly looks at him and responds “In the beloved words of Captain Picard “Rumors of my assimilation are greatly exaggerated!”