The Covenant - Chapter Four

“Oh Annie you missed the best rehearsal dinner ever!” squeals Hailey clapping her hands in utter enthusiasm “It was so much fun!  It’s too bad you had to stay home and miss it!”

“It was an amazing evening!” interrupts Lauren taking a sigh looking up to the ceiling lost in her memories “He was so charming!”

“I thought so too!  He’s so good looking too!” gushingly admits Hailey “He may be a bit older, but I think he’s the most attractive officer I’ve ever met.  I might even consider going to training school to be with him…”

“You’ve already got Hayden!  You don’t need another boyfriend.  You guys are practically engaged, you’ve been going out so long!” Lauren jealously interjects “No, unless you’ve forgotten, you’re taken and unavailable. He’s all mine!”

“I can look if I want to.  Who’s to say I won’t change my mind?” defiantly asks Hailey “He would definitely be worth looking in a new direction if the opportunity became available.”

“What would you do with Hayden?  It’s always been Hailey and Hayden as long as I can remember.  You fit together, everyone thinks so too!” gushes Lauren trying to give her sister a reason to deeper her commitment to her boyfriend to make things easier for herself.

“Who are you talking about?” asks Annie looking up from her book that she has been concentrating on with great difficulty with all the noise in the room.

“Annie, there was this new captain at the rehearsal dinner that evidently is a friend of Darcy’s.  They have known each other since they were teens and were on service corps together” explains Lauren “He’s older, but he’s very good looking and so charming.  He talked to Hailey and me all evening!  I don’t think we stopped talking for more than five minutes.”

“Liz put him between us.  You were suppose to sit next him but that changed when you didn’t show up last night” offers Hailey “It’s funny, he seemed rather annoyed that you didn’t come but I didn’t know you knew him.  You never mention him.  I told him that too. But that seemed to make him more upset.  However, Lauren and I were able to cheer him up and had a wonderful evening with him.  Who knows, if he gives me a chance, Hayden may need to make more of an effort to keep me”.

“Ummm … maybe you need to take a break awhile from Hayden and just enjoy being a young adult for awhile.  How are things going between the two of you lately?” caringly asks Annie concerned that Hailey may be rushing into a commitment that she is not ready for.

“They’re fine.  Hayden is Hayden.  We just graduated and I expected a ring but he didn’t ask me.  He’s talked about it, but he’s so slow.  If he doesn’t make up his mind soon, I am start looking around and then he’ll be sorry!” pouts Hailey “All my friends are getting engaged and we’ve been going out longer than they have.  We’ve been together since high school.  It’s time we were getting married. I don’t want to be an old maid and still waiting for him to ask me!”

Hearing the last statement, Lauren shoots her sister a severe look and motions her head pointing back towards Annie.

“Oh Annie, I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean you were an old maid” anxiously apologizing Hailey earnestly does not want to hurt her good friend’s feelings “You made a choice not to get married.  You’re happy being single.  You haven’t dated in forever.  Obviously, you could have been married if you wanted to be.  I wish you had married my brother and not Mary.  You would have been a great sister-in-law, you’re still my pseudo-sister though and I’m glad you’re here and around us too!”

“How come you never mentioned Captain Wentworth?” asks Lauren trying to change the apparently painful subject evident from Annie’s body language and facial expression “He’s so handsome.  If he had known me, I would have definitely been talking about him. He seemed excited to hear about you.”

“What did you say?” cautiously asks Annie afraid of what the opinionated response might be.

“Oh, I just told him that you had gone to graduate school, but now you are an LPN working towards becoming a doctor but you haven’t totally made up your mind about that yet” remembering the conversation in spurts, Lauren continues  “He asked if you still attend Kellynch Hall.  I told him you were very involved in the corps and seem quite content on your own.”

“Did he ask anything else?” curiously asks Annie wanting to know what else was said.

“Mostly he just wanted to talk about me.  I told him all the activities I’ve been involved in at college this year, and my friends that I’ve been hanging out with, and what I did during spring break.  He asked me what my goals were for my future and I told him that I wanted a fashion designer” explains Lauren “He was very encouraging unlike most of the family and thought it might be something that I should try.”

“He didn’t encourage you.  You were doing all the talking.  He barely had a chance to ask you any questions, because all you were doing was talking and hogging the conversation” irritated interrupts Hailey “I tried to say a few things to him which he seemed quite interested in knowing, but just as our conversation would start, you’d take over again talking about yourself!”

“Well, he wanted to know about me.  I’m sure he did!  If he’s going to be my next boyfriend, he needs to know me better” snaps Lauren at her sister’s obvious irritation “He seemed to like me. I think everyone in the room noticed too!”

 “Annie, you’re lucky. At least you don’t care about having someone and don’t have to fight with your sister.  I don’t think Beth and you ever liked the same guy” offers Hailey trying to put her romantically competitive relationship with her sister in perspective.

“Yeah, you didn’t seem to want my brother either and gave him to Mary instead” sulks Lauren “At least you’re not a hypochondriac.  You would be taking care of us instead rather than having to hear her whine all the time! I don’t mean to be harsh about Mary, but it’s the truth.”

Listening Annie sighs and looks down at the floor unable to know exactly how to respond.  She should be defensive of her younger sister’s character, but Lauren isn’t lying and the entire family is fully aware of that repetitive truth.

“I wouldn’t have been a good match for your brother, you know that.  We’re good friends still and that’s enough” remarks Annie “I think he would have been rather bored with me within the first month of being married”.

Knowing that what Annie is saying is closer to reality than just an excuse, Hailey offers “There still could be somebody for you. You never know, he might show up today.  You’re not a hopeless cause even if you are older.”

“Well, thank you” giggles Annie in a slightly sarcastic tone “I never considered myself near hopeless but at least I have your encouragement of a romantic future for myself with an unknown prince charming. The future isn’t as bleak as it possibly could be.”

“I must say Captain Wentworth is closer to your age and sort-of more like you, but I’d rather keep him for myself” states Lauren making a claim before any need is necessary “You can find someone else.  I’m sure there will be someone coming along sometime soon.”

“How do you know he isn’t going to go for someone more like my type?” debates Hailey “I might snag him before you do!”

Just then the doorbell rings both Hailey and Lauren scurry to see who it is leaving Annie in the kitchen alone for a few minutes sipping on some tea and having toast.

Lost in her thoughts, Annie smells the fresh scent of flowers in the vase in the center of the table that she picked out the garden this morning.  She remembers fifteen years ago a conversation that she is unable to forget.

“What do you mean you can’t marry me?” Feeling a wave of hurt asks Rick holding her hand and refusing to let it go while they walk in the garden at her parent’s home.

“I just think it would be better if we waited a little longer.  Lydia Russell doesn’t think it is a good idea for us to get married right now.  My father said he would have nothing to do with me if we got married.  I can’t get married without my family” offers Annie feeling her heart tear inside.

Grabbing her other hand into his own Rick pleads “We can make it.  We don’t need them.  All we need is each other.”

“It isn’t that I don’t love you.  I want to do what’s right.  Lydia Russell told me it is what my mother would want if she were still alive.  She wants me to finish my education” explains Annie “I can’t take care of you as I would like to as a wife if I’m busy studying all the time.  We wouldn’t have much money if we are both going to school.  It would be better to wait.”

“I don’t want to wait.  I could find a way to make enough money to support both of us.  You’ll be all right with me.  I’ll take care of you, you never have to worry about that” anxiously promises Rick rubbing her hand afraid of the consequences of losing her.

“You need to go to school too.  You are so gifted and talented.  If you are going to be where you should be, you have to get your degree for all of your abilities to be recognized as I see them.  I wouldn’t want to keep you from your future because of struggling financially because of me” sorrowfully explains Annie as tears are welling up in her eyes “If you still want me after we finish school, I’ll be here.”

“I don’t understand.  If you love me, you would marry me now no matter what your family says or that Lydia Russell” argues Rick “You care about their opinion more than you do me.  I don’t mean much to you. I don’t understand how you could hurt me like this! I love you, Annie.”

“I love you too!  I only want to do what will be best for both of us.  We both still have a lot of growing up to do and things to experience.  You would resent being tied down to me.” Starts Annie repeating words that were said to her “Once you got where you wanted to be, you would probably find that I was not as interesting if I didn’t have something to offer back to you.”

“What are you talking about?  I love you just the way you are and find everything about you amazing to me” angrily states Rick feeling that she is mimicking someone else’s excuses “Why do you not trust me enough?  Why are you willing to listen to everyone else but me?”

“It’s not like that.  I’m making this choice myself because I do love you.  I love you very much. I would only hinder what great things are ahead of you” sadly remarks Annie unable to hold back her tears anymore “You need someone who is more outgoing and can be the show person you need them to be.  I like being behind the scenes and helping people.”

“Annie, I don’t need you to be any different than you are. Can’t you see that?” pleads Rick “You need to stand up to your father and Lydia Russell.  They don’t know what is best for you.  We should be together.  But I only want to be with you if you are sure that you love me more than your family.”

“How can you ask me that?  They’ve taken care of me my whole life.  Lydia Russell is like a second mom to me.  She would never suggest anything that didn’t have the best for me in mind” feeling angry and unable to control her confused emotions Annie continues unsure of her true feelings “You’re the one who doesn’t love me.  You’re asking me to give up my family for you.”

Feeling furious and completely misunderstood, Rick shoots from his gut but not his heart “Well, I guess that is that then. We don’t love each other and we need to move on.  Don’t expect to hear from me.  I’m not going to be asking you anything again.  You can stay with your family since you think they love you so much and you can’t live without them.”

“Fine, at least I know they love me!” yells Annie throwing the random while flowers in her hair that he had placed there earlier in the day “Don’t talk to me.  I’m not going to be missing you!”

Startled by laughter from the other room, Annie awakes from her trance and wipes a solitary tear on her cheek taking another sip of her hot tea and letting the fumes bring back a peaceful moment as her heart aches as the recalled memory. “I was so foolish” she whispers softly out loud to herself.

“We didn’t expect to see you again until tomorrow!  What brought you here?” loudly exclaims Lauren ecstatically giggling just outside swinging French doors of the kitchen.

“Your brother invited me over to show me the kit car he has been working on” states Rick “Is there anyone else here?  I noticed an extra car in the driveway.”

“Oh yeah, Annie’s here.  She stayed over last night” explains Hailey grasping for some of his attention, “Our nephew fell of the bunk bed while playing batman with his brother and got a concussion, she stayed up all night with him to make sure he was okay.  She’s ends up being their babysitter a lot and they enjoy being around her too.”

At that moment, Rick walks through the swinging doors of the kitchen.  Annie looks up and they stare at each other for a moment unable to speak while every emotion floods their senses. “Annie?” softly asks Rick unable to find any other words to say.

“Yes …” Annie hears the words leave her mouth but feels as if her tongue is stone to form anything else.

“I forgot, you know Annie” Lauren intercedes feeling the awkwardness in the room but not sure of the reason “at least she said that she knew you this morning”.

“Yes, we know each other but that was a very long time ago.  People forget things if they’re not around them for awhile” suggests Rick feeling that she may not remember who he is or what she once meant to him. “Unlike most, I have a good memory though and can remember just about any conversation I ever had.”

“Wow!  I don’t think that I would like that ability!  Sometimes I say things I don’t mean and would hope that they would forget it especially when I want more money from my dad for a new outfit” chimes in Hailey trying to ease the tension in the room “I wish that I could remember things.  It would have been helpful this last semester when I showed up a half-hour late for my last final!”

“Come on!  I think that I hear Charles in the other room, he’s waiting for you.  I’ll show you where he is at” offers Lauren pulling at his arm towards the kitchen door feeling envious of the intense stare that Annie is receiving from him “I’m sure he’s been waiting for us!”

Nervously feeling not in control of her emotions, Annie shyly looks down at her tea cup and massages its handle before looking up again and meeting Rick’s eyes for a moment. She sees a second of warm recognition, but then almost as quickly his eyes turn cold as he grins at Lauren holding his arm next to him and leading him back into the living room to join with the others.  Annie feels a vast emptiness enter the room leaving behind a wake of sheer loneliness and loss.