Crest & Shield - Chapter Nineteen

“Open your songster books to “I Need Thee”, it is in the purple alphabetized section” after a few moments pause while the members flip through their books “Okay everyone, let’s try to sing together from “C” instructs Brandon




“Did you say “D”?” loudly asks Mr. Woodhouse from the back row leaning over to Mr. Weston “I can’t understand Captain Brandon when he talks”



Three people seating in near proximity around him say “c not d – c!”



“What? Did you say E?” Mr. Woodhouse noisily responds liking the attention rather than listening. Emma turns around motions the letter “C” with one hand while taking her other right arm in front of her as if pushing the air down and then taking a raised finger to her lips to motion to him to be quiet.



Mr. Woodhouse responds quite boisterously to the admonishment “I wish these young people would speak up when they talk. They like to mumble all of their words together” as he nods to Mr. Weston waiting for agreement singing bass next to him.



At that moment Harriet standing in between Emma and Jane accidently drops her three ring songster binder on the floor with scattered pages flying in the air and under the seats of the other members. Emma, Jane and Harriet quickly scurry to pick up all the pages before Brandon begins again.



Brandon twitches the corner of his mouth and looks down for a moment “C as in Cat, Can, and catastrophe. When we are all together again we will begin ‘I Need Thee’ at C”.



Jennings is sitting at the piano but making goofy faces at Maggie sitting in the last pew patiently waiting for her mother to finish singing in the choir rehearsal. Jennings is not paying any particular attention to what is happening in the room around her.



As Brandon methodically begins to conduct he happens to look over to see Jennings pulling down both of her eye lids to her cheeks and sticking out her tongue to make a horrific ‘monster’ face. Maggie responds in fits of laughter and makes a crazy face of her own back at Jennings.



Brandon tolerantly grins and shrugs his shoulders. “Let’s try that again at letter C, 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 . . .”



Jennings delightfully plays very well while adding her own flair and beauty to the piece of songster piano music.



After that song is completed Brandon states “I would like to sing “Total Praise” for the benediction this Sunday. You’ll find it in the yellow section” replies Brandon before he is bombarded with questions.



Harriet clasps her hands while swinging her feet in utter wild eye excitement, “It’s my favorite!”



Anne’s clear soprano voice carries very nicely in the soprano section with Jane and Emma followed by the mellow alto section from Ellen and Harriet. The other women make an attempt to follow and blend together, even though Mrs. Hammer’s voice likes to pinch the pitch once in awhile. She raises her hand in an effort to somehow physically raise her tone but unfortunately it doesn’t help much. Mrs. Hammer sings to the top of her lungs and sparkles on reaching the very last note which exceeds her goal and makes her a full tone too sharp to the dismay of Brandon and the others.



“Good practice everyone” absurdly compliments Brandon closing his red songster book with a embossed shield on the front “Remember after church Sunday is the spaghetti dinner fund raiser for Ben Wick as he prepares to participate in the territorial service corps team this summer to Lima, Peru. His team is being led by Captain Fred Wentworth which some of you may know from being stationed in the area a few years ago.”



As the vocal group disbands, Jennings hesitantly walks over to the Dashings who have joined the rehearsals of the Crestwood corps that evening and now gathering their purses and things to head home for the evening.



“I suppose you’ve heard by now” inquisitively states Jennings with a frown of disappointment.



“What do you mean?” unknowingly asks Mrs. Dashing “I haven’t been able to look at my email on my Lotus Notes, did something happen today?”



“Yes. I thought you or your girls would have heard by now” surprised replies Jennings in her lavender floral polyester pantsuit and new white nursing shoes that she got on sale as part of a large store donation of new shoes at Sally’s Boutique with a thick cushioned heel for walking comfort.



“What are you talking about?” inquiring asks Anne “There is nothing going on that I know of.”



“Honey, fortunately this really isn’t about you though this time” reaching out and holding her by the arm “However, Ellen may find the news somewhat distressing” adds Jennings to deepen the suspense shaking her head staring at her feet with a huge shoulder and chest sigh.



“I think that I would like to know what it is since it evidently affects me” slightly annoyed by Jennings statement after a long rehearsal replies Ellen.



“Well, I talked to Mary Musgrove at Cross Hall and she said that there is now a Mrs. Ferris as of today. Liz is a bride!” excited answers Jennings trying to find something positive in the moment “They impulsively eloped and flew to Hawaii for their honeymoon!”



Ellen’s expression falls trembling at the spoken words. She turns without saying anything and quickly walks down the aisle leaving the chapel through the oversized clear glass doors with a center crest in etched white cut glass that matches the transparent pulpit.



Anne curiously asks “When did this happen?”



“Well today Mary Musgrove called me. Her sister, Beth Elliott a very beautiful girl by the way even if she is a bit of a snob, attends the corps where Liz is currently a soldier and attends with Ted” honestly replies Jennings “Beth has recently become acquainted with Liz. I think she might have had a bit of a crush on Ted’s brother Robert at one point, but it didn’t work out”.



Jennings anxiously continues realizing that Ellen has left the chapel and feeling if she has unintentionally stuck her foot in her mouth yet again “But Ellen already knew that Ted was engaged to Liz. Why is she so surprised? It doesn’t make sense to me.”



“Even though Ted may no longer care because he’s married now and she knows that, Ellen still cares a great deal about him” sympathetically replies Anne to Jennings concern.



“I guess so. Love is not always rational” thoughtfully reflects Jennings as she remembers “it continues to grow in silence when the heart is deeply sincere in spite of facts or opposing reason. I’ve been struck once or twice by love myself.”



“I’m going to see if Ellen is all right” Anne says as she follows in Ellen’s footsteps out the door.



Pushing through the door labeled “women”, Anne can hear the echoes of Ellen crying in the bathroom. It has been a long day. The last few weeks have been more stressful than Ellen has ever felt for weeks. Seeing Ted made all of Ellen’s feelings come to the surface even though Ellen felt that she had been able to suppress them from overwhelming her each day especially in light of recent events but hearing for certain this final blow is too much for her heart to contain.



Ted is never far from her thoughts but thinking that he would actually be with someone else is unbearable. Ellen knows that she has lost her opportunity to think about him in any type of romantic way any more whether real or imagined. The loss grieves her and fills her with a sadness that she has not experienced before in her life.



“Ellen? Where are you? I can hear you. Which stall are you in?” asks Anne bending down to see if there are any familiar shoes poking out underneath the stalls in the pink and rose wall papered bathroom.



“I’m here” sniffling and trying to keep her voice under control “I’ll be out in a minute” as tears fill her words. Ellen can be heard weeping throughout the painted ceramic tiled floor room.



Anne grabs some soft cherry Kleenix from the marble counter and passes a handful underneath the stall door to Ellen. After a few moments wiping away her tears, Ellen comes out. Anne hugs her and Ellen sobs for a little longer.



After awhile, Ellen and Anne come out of the bathroom. All the lights of the corps have been turned out and everyone other than Brandon has left for home.



Brandon walks out of his office which is the last lit room in the building. “I told your mom that I would take both of you home tonight so that she could take Maggie home to finish her homework. I hope that is all right with you” Looking at Anne and cautiously smiling over to Ellen.



Anne smiles with excitement. In the past month she has spent all of her free time with Brandon. The last few weeks she has volunteered at Crestwood after her college classes and has help plan the summer day camp that will start in just a few weeks. Next week, she will be graduating and is looking forward to spending all of her time with Brandon.



Ellen climbs into the back seat of Brandon’s car while Anne sits next to him in the passenger seat. Ellen blankly stares out into the darkness of the back seat car window. Brandon gives Ellen a sympathetic look and then reaches over and holds Anne’s hand. Anne and Brandon have started to date in the last few weeks. To everyone’s pleasure, they seem quite happy together and blissfully content. Each of them seems to bring out the very best in the other.



In their comfortableness and security with each other, a deep bond of love has been cultivated and nurtured in the past few months.



As Brandon drives up to the Dashings’ home, Ellen opens the door and slowly walks to the front door as the full moon lights her path. Brandon has not let go of Anne’s hand.



Brandon seriously looking straight into Anne’s eyes ask her if she would like to go out with him to dinner the following night. Thinking this is another typical night together nonchalantly agrees “Sure. What time?” asks Anne without thinking too much just knowing that she enjoys any time that she spends with him no matter what they do.



“I’d like to take you to the new restaurant downtown, ‘Celeste’s’ tomorrow night” blushing requests Brandon.



“Are you sure? It is such a beautiful place! I’ve never been there before but I’ve driven by there. It looks so pretty at night with the trees trimmed in indigo lights” Anne replies quite shocked.



“I’ll pick you up at 6:30 pm. Our reservation is for seven” warmly states Brandon leaning over and spending a few moments kissing Anne goodnight which has recently become their evening ritual.



Anne walks into the house ecstatically smiling and thinking of how wonderful Brandon is. They have been dating for a few weeks now. After attending the first junior band rehearsal after a long break, she remembers Brandon shyly asking her if she would like to go bowling the next night. This was followed by the movies, miniature golfing, and several nights at his house playing the Wii Rock Band with the teen youth group.



To Anne it seemed as if Brandon would never make move. He would appear to want to be close to her when dropping her off after a wonderful day together but would back away just before anything would happen and wave goodbye while walking away.



One particular night after spending a fabulous day at the state fair, Brandon walked her to the door of her house as he usually did. He starts to say goodnight in his usual way, but as he starts to back away Anne impulsively decides to hold both cheeks in each hand and kisses him. Brandon stunned and wide-eyed looks back at her with an emotionless expression. Anne nervously believes that he might be rejecting her and she has made a fool of herself, starts bouncing on her left foot and shaking her hands, her eyebrows are furrowed and she starts to frown fearing that she has misread all of Brandon’s signals and will now be possibly facing a lecture.



After a surprised Brandon comes to his senses and notices Anne’s nervousness, he moves closer to her and holds her by each of her shoulders and tenderly returns his deep affection for her. Things have been moving quiet nicely ever since.



Lost in her memories, Anne looks around and starts to clean up the living room putting things back where they belong. She blows out the ‘mountain harvest’ scented potpourri Yankee Candles scattered about the living room.



Anne finds an old War Cry that must have randomly been pulled out from a left over stack of magazines on the bottom shelf of the bookcase. It looks vaguely familiar and curiously opens it up. It is the feature article written about Willoughby months ago. But this time instead of evoking feelings of pain and despair, she only feels an intense sense of relief.



Julie had a beautiful baby boy last month that she named Mark Brandon after her father and Brandon. Julie and Anne, although not having met in person yet, have become good friends through Facebook chat. Julie keeps Brandon and Anne updated by posting daily photos of Mark’s growth and baby expressions. Julie and Anne have quite a lot in common and have developed a mutually satisfying friendship.



Eventually Willoughby married Sophie Grey without any intentional interference from Julie or her friends. Julie has told Anne that she realizes that she is no longer infatuated with him. Willoughby doesn’t have much interest in the child and has given up all his rights.



Sophie is aware of the existence of Mark from the insistence of many malicious gossips which have skillfully enhanced their own versions of her husband’s relationships with Julie and Anne. Sophie chooses to ignore the truth at the moment because of Willoughby’s manipulatively arduous attention towards her.



Looking back from the wise perspective of past experience, Anne realizes that her feelings for Willoughby were just a passionate crush but not true love. He made her feel popular and attractive but Willoughby never really made her feel special and cherished or loved. Her former feelings for Willoughby seem to be so little in comparison to the depth of her current feelings for Brandon.



There isn’t anything she wouldn’t do for Brandon if he asked her. But Anne also knows that Brandon respects and loves her for who she is and wouldn’t demand anything of her that he wouldn’t be willing to give her himself. Anne knows that she loves Brandon more than ever.



Anne enters their room and can hear Ellen quietly weeping into her thick pillow in the bed next to her own. “Ellen, are you okay?” empathetically asks Anne.



“I’ll be okay. I’m really hurting right now” honestly replies Ellen “I knew that Ted was engaged to Liz, I foolishly didn’t believe that they would be married so soon. I kept hoping that somehow he would realize that he was making a mistake especially after he came to visit a couple of weeks ago.”



“I know. I didn’t think he would actually go through with marrying Liz either. They don’t fit very well together” truthfully responds Anne.



“To be frank, I’ve loved Ted for a long time but I knew that he and Liz were promised to each other. I guess that I was idealistically hoping that something might still work out between us in the future” sincerely remarks Ellen with a profound sigh with tears filling her eyes again “and obviously it didn’t.”



“I didn’t realize that you cared so much for Ted. I knew you had feelings for Ted but you keep so much to yourself and you don’t talk about it like my other friends. Did you ever tell him how you felt?” asks Anne.



“How could I? He never told me that he had any feelings for me. I knew that he and Liz were together. It seemed like a stupid thing to do at the time, but I now wish that I had been more honest with him rather than to keep how I felt to myself” aches Ellen under the weight of hearing her spoken words “but if you remember, I didn’t hear from him for awhile, what else was I to do?”



“Don’t you think it would have been better to just have been upfront with how you felt rather than waiting for him to say something?” asks Anne.



“I don’t know. I don’t know that it would have made any difference any way. I only know for sure what my feelings are and what I suspect his feelings were towards me at that time” reflecting analyzes Ellen.



“Do you think though that if you had been more open, Ted might have responded to that?” asks Anne “I thought he really cared about you too. It wasn’t just you.”



“Probably, but it is too late to change things now. Ted has made his choice” sadly answers Ellen “It is now my choice to try to get completely over him.”



“I’m sorry Ellen” sympathetically offers Anne “I wish that I could do something to make you feel better.”



“I think that I’m going to try and get some sleep now. Maybe I’ll feel better in the morning” practically responds Ellen with not much hope in regards to that prospect.