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Saturday, September 25, 2010

Crest & Shield - Chapter Seventeen

The car is quiet except for some music of the King’s Singers of traditional songster favorites. The drive has allowed time for Ted to think about his current situation and his future. Being laid off was quite a shock since everything seemed to be going so well with his various assignments throughout the different divisions of the territory? But his mother was also a good friend of his boss. She seems to be doing everything in her power to remove him from any association with the Army that might lead to officer-ship.




Ted is disappointed that Ellen doesn’t answer her phone. Eventually she will get his message that he is coming. He really wants to speak with her again but evidently she is busy. Brandon called and left a message that Ellen would be contacting him so at least Ellen sent an email about three weeks ago asking him to meet with her about a new job opportunity with Brandon of all people.



He feels lost and a bit trapped. Thinking to himself, he wants to be near Ellen but if she is going to be with Brandon then it is going to be sheer torture. But it also appears that Brandon is the only one who seems to have any courage to hire him. At least he hopes that the new opportunity involves employment. Ted is rather anxious and torn about this new development.



Thinking over his life and praying in the solitude of his car, he appeals out loud, “Liz is a pain. What am I going to do?” Liz needs constant attention and reassuring that she is the prettiest woman in the room. He is rather relieved when she is not there and savors the time when he gets to be alone by himself.



Ted hears a beep and looks at his phone. Robert has text that he has arrived and is at his apartment at home. He knows Liz was planning to be there to let Robert in and help him to get settled. Robert took vacation and is staying for a couple of weeks with him to help pack although he is still unsure of where he will be going.



Thinking about the old rerun he watched of “Braveheart” last night on A&E, he remembers a quote that remains in his thoughts, “Every man dies. Not every man lives.” He considers his relationship with Liz and decides that he is going to break up with her when he returns home.



Honestly looking at their relationship, Liz and he don’t fit together. Robert calls quite often and spends most of the conversation asking about Liz and calls her quite a bit as well just to chat. Ted feels like a third wheel on a vehicle that he doesn’t feel like driving any way in the first place.



It seems the fair thing to do is to break up and let Liz and Robert have a chance to be together. They fit together and get along really well. Liz and he might have fit together when they were teens but time and life has moved on resulting in their relationship changing as well. They do not have much in common now and if he were honest with himself, Ted knows that he is on the rebound from Ellen because she still fills his thoughts nearly all of the time.



Ted rehearses many times a possible conversation in his mind that might take place and then decides to change his phrasing and words to sound more relaxed and dignified, but then again decides to nix all that and starts all over again with a new imaginative conversation.



As he pulls into the Dashing driveway, his heart pounds with anxiety and fear. What if she doesn’t want to see him and this is just Brandon’s idea of a cruel joke? What if this is a mistake? What if Ellen has never been interested in him and only saw him as a friend maybe not even that any more? Will he be able to cope with her indifference to him?



Ted walks up the repaired and newly painted steps to the porch. He stands for a minute to gain his composure and then knocks on the door. Mrs. Dashing answers, “Ted! It is so good to see you! Come on in!” opening the door for him as he walks past her “Would you like some fresh baked cookies from the oven? I fixed your favorite – chocolate chip! I’ve made some extra for the Girl Guards tonight.”



“Thank you. That would be wonderful!” still feeling a bit nervous and looking around for a glimpse of Ellen while he walks into the living room. Maggie is on the floor with Samuel. She is sitting on her knees telling him to “sit” in which he responds by rolling on his back to be petted. “Let’s try this again Samuel. Sit!” Samuel pants and looks at her for a second and then lies down with his paws over his nose to the ground. Maggie shakes her head.



“Having a little trouble there?” asks Ted. Maggie looks surprised when she hears the voice behind her but then looks up, “Ted! You’re here! Where have you been? I’m so glad you’re here! I’ve missed you!” She runs to Ted and gives him a bear hug. “You want to see the new tricks I taught Samuel? Or at least tricks I tried to teach Samuel?” eagerly asks Maggie.



“Sure. How are you little buddy?” reaching out to pat Samuel under the chin and itch behind his ears. “Look what he can do.” Maggie commands “Sit Samuel.” Samuel for once obediently sits. Maggie claps her hands in excitement and joy at what has been accomplished.



“Ted?” Anxiously asks Ellen entering the room watching the scene and thinking how comfortable Ted looks in her home “Thanks for coming. Do you want to walk outside with me?”



“Sure!” momentarily surprised by the level of his own enthusiasm in seeing Ellen again. He realizes how much he has missed her these last few months “Where do you want me to follow you to?”



“Is it all right if we talk in the backyard?” asks Ellen with a little trepidation not sure how the conversation will go.



“It’s beautiful outside today. Spring is my favorite season of the year. How is your garden going this year?” inquisitively asks Ted.



Ellen regrettably sighs “I haven’t been able to work on it much lately” not wanting to answer honestly that she didn’t ‘feel’ like working on it because she has lost interest while dealing with her own feelings of loss.



The large shade trees have new buds of white, pink, and lavender waiting for the blooms to appear from the warmth of the sun. The grass is lush and full.

They sit down on two white metal lawn chairs etched with ivy and flowers. Ellen’s biography of Jane Austen lays face down on the matching table with an ice glass of sweet tea.



Ellen has spent the morning apprehensively waiting for Ted to arrive. She knows that Ted will not be able to stay for very long because his workshop begins in the afternoon for the regional Sunday school teachers’ training seminar at Crestwood.



Contemplating the recent events Ellen still cannot comprehend how Ted and Liz could possibly manage to get engage if they really had broken up at FOF week-end. It doesn’t make any sense to her. But she doesn’t want to ask Ted about it since the reason seems rather pointless now.



Ted sits down in the chair next to her and looks at her profile for a moment while she pours him a glass of tea. Ted thinks to himself that she looks lovely today and then his heart aches that things are not working out as he would like between them. Ted wishes that he could snap his fingers and everything would be totally different from the reality that is before him.



“As you know, Brandon asked me if I would meet with you.” Ellen begins looking directly at him hoping to see some intuitive sign of Ted’s reaction to her “He thought that since we were already friends and you do not know him that well that you might be more interested in his offer if it came through me.”



Ted notices how beautiful her eyes sparkle in the sunlight while she is speaking. He can feel himself bristle at the mention of Brandon’s name but also realizes that it is Brandon who is offering friendship to him at his moment of crisis.



“I’m very glad that he offered for us to meet again. It is wonderful to see you! I’ve missed you so much and it seems like forever since we last talked” courageously gushes Ted.



Ellen senses the excitement exuding from Ted in regards to being in her presence. She looks at him for a moment trying to figure out how he could have missed that before. But she pulls her thoughts together when tempted to feel sad that this may be the last time that he will make her feel this way.



“Ummm. Brandon would like for you to come and work as the Missions Specialist for Crestwood. The salary would be enough for you and your future family. There is another quarters that is empty in the area and you would be able to rent it until you went to training next year for a nominal fee”.



For a moment Ted thinks that Brandon could have told him this information himself and not through Ellen. But he is so relieved that Brandon chose to communicate through Ellen instead.



“Yes. I would love the job. I’ll be sending him a letter and speaking with him in the future but also in the meantime tell him how much I appreciate his thoughtfulness of thinking of me right now especially when he doesn’t know me that well” earnestly replies Ted.



“Don’t worry, I will tell him. I think he thought that since we were friends this would be easier for you” explains Ellen and then thinking to herself “Brandon certainly didn’t think about how easy this would be on me”.



Ted looks at her and then stares at the ground. “Ellen, if you don’t mind can I ask you a personal question?”



“Yes. What is it? You can ask me whatever you like” replies Ellen not knowing what is to follow.



Ted breaks a dry twig in his hand that he found resting on the ground. “Are you and Brandon serious?”



Ellen starts laughing but tries to control her laughter when she sees the hurt look on Ted’s face.



“No, not at all. I think you have me mixed up with Anne” responds Ellen biting her lip attempting not to laugh again.



“What? What you mean Anne? Isn’t she . . . wasn’t she with Willoughby?” asks Ted confused by the unexpected news.



“Yes. She did like Willoughby or rather the ‘idea’ of Willoughby. Brandon and she have been very good friends for quite awhile now and are becoming closer as time passes” explains Ellen “Anne is appearing to really enjoy being with Brandon too”.



“What about you and Brandon?” Obstinately asks Ted “Weren’t you dating Brandon? Aren’t you thinking of marrying him?”



Ellen’s eyes enlarge like saucers and her mouth drops open “that’s ridiculous! Brandon has always been interested in Anne since I met him. I don’t think he has ever seriously looked at me twice!”



Ted’s face looses all color and his shoulders drop. “Mrs. Middleton told me that you had given Brandon a very nice gift for Christmas.”



“Of course I did” says Ellen with Ted looking shocked at her honesty “We had a gift exchange and I chose his name.” Ted looks mortified. “But if you want to know the truth, Anne helped me pick it out and to pay for it.”



“What about you going to see him right after getting back from the FOF week-end?” adamantly points out Ted “He called you and I heard you say on the phone that you would see him as soon as you got home”.



“That had nothing to do with me. Well . . . it did have something to do with the fact Brandon wanted to talk to me about something that had nothing to do with me” replies Ellen frustrated by Ted’s confusion but not sure yet how to connect the consequences of that mistake.



“What? What are you talking about?” asks Ted.



Not wanting to include him in gossip but also knowing that perhaps now is the time for clarification and it is well known, “Ok. Do you remember me mentioning Julie to you in my notes?”



“Yes, I think so. Is Julie, Brandon’s god-daughter?” asks Ted.



Ellen confirms “Yes and she worked at camp with Willoughby for the summer. She is now having a child. Willoughby is the father. He came to Barton Park when he found out she was pregnant hoping that no one would find out. Her baby is due next week this April ironically a few days before he is marrying Sophie Grey.”



“I didn’t know. When did Anne find out?” concerned asks Ted “Is she all right?”



“Anne found out about a month ago but she’s doing much better now. I think she was depressed not so much over the break up of her relationship with Willoughby because of the humiliation of all her friends knowing that Willoughby rejected her” genuinely responds Ellen.



“I really didn’t know. So many things have been happening in my life recently, I’ve been rather clueless about everything else that is occurring around me” honestly explains Ted grabbing Ellen’s hand in empathy.



“I heard from Jennings that you are engaged” hesitantly adds Ellen moving her hand away preparing for the feeling of rejection that she knows is to follow her question “When are you getting married?”



Ted has forgotten his current relationship status in the last few moments of conversation and feels like a ton of bricks has landed on him when he hears her question.



“I …I and ummm, I and uh” trying to remember her name “I and . . . Liz are . . . when Liz asked me . . . no” Ted’s forehead starts to sweat and he wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans.



Ellen is perplexed by his response but still wants to hear the words for herself from Ted so that she can believe them.



Ted swallows “Liz is engaged to me” then anxiously adding “but we are having some differences of opinion. I think some things may be happening soon and I don’t know how she will fit into a life at Crestwood.”



“Oh” drops Ellen’s voice assuming that he will choose not to come to Crestwood with Liz and pick another place in the territory in order to not be around her.



Both Ellen and Ted look at each other in a moment of silent anguish but each attempt to appear calm about the whole situation that is obviously painful to both of them.



“I have to go now because I’m driving back in one day” suddenly states Ted as he jumps up from his seat without much explanation “I’ll talk to you later.”



Ellen stands up and walks with him to his car. She is standing close to him and decides to hug him goodbye. Ellen knows that she loves him but it is time for a final goodbye because he has chosen to be with Liz and she realizes that she needs to move on. For a moment Ted feels like it will be a very long time before he will see Ellen again and this option doesn’t seem right to him either.

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